Had a beautiful experience today. I was in a terrible amount of pain. Drugged up to the gills. Crying I was hurting so badly. White hot agony. Just felt like putting my fist through the wall I was so frustrated with the sudden pain. Felt the urge to lay down and meditate. Holy cow- I was able to!!! And right in front of my husband no less!! I cannot explain to you just how big this is. I felt deep and lasting Source connection, breathing was easy, my body relaxed, and I was able to feel absolute calm. I had to fight for it a few times but I managed to pull myself back from being self-conscious and just letting go.
This was actually the longest I've been able to meditate while using the hand trick. Ever.
During my meditation, my left hand would periodically twitch outward toward my husband. Sometimes I do twitch because of muscle spasms with the FM. But this wasn't that type of muscle spasm. As much as I realized that was a not so subtle hint.... I declined. I was too delirious to pay attention to someone else trying to have a conversation with me(like my husband) besides listening to Pleroma. Ok. I admit it. I was feeling a bit greedy for attention. I wanted to feel better and didn't want to be interrupted in my new found tranquility.
I slept well for about an hour and woke up pain free.
I have resolved to meditate with him tomorrow. Don't know how successful we'll be but I'll try.
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