Who am I? - Seth answers

More commentary from Seth; this time on what it means to be an individual human being and experiencing physical pain. My comments are below.

The Nature of the Psyche: Its Human Expression

A Seth Book by: Jane Roberts

Page 110

When you ask: "Who am I?" you are trying to read yourself as if you were a simple sentence already written. Instead, you write yourself as you go along. The sentence that you recognize is the only one of many probable variations. You and no other choose which experiences you want to actualize. You do this as spontaneously as you speak words. You take it for granted that a sentence begun will be finished. You are in the midst of speaking yourself. The speaking, which is your life, seems to happen by itself, since you are not aware of keeping yourself alive. Your heart beats whether or not you understand anatomy.

You read yourself in too-narrow terms. Much of the pain connected with serious illness and death results because you have no faith in your own continuing reality. You fight pain because you have not learned to transcend it, or rather to use it. You do not trust the natural consciousness of the body, so that when its end nears- and such an end is inevitable- you do not trust the signals that the body gives, that are meant to free you.

Certain kinds of pain automatically eject consciousness from the body. Such pain cannot be verbalized, for it is a mixture of pain and pleasure, a tearing free, and it automatically brings about an almost exhilarating release of consciousness. Such pain is also very brief. Under your present system, however, drugs are usually administered, in which case pain is somewhat minimized but prolonged- not triggering the natural release mechanisms.

If you read your selves adjacently, you would build up confidence in the body, and in those cooperative consciousnesses that form it. You would have an intimate awareness of the body's healing processes also. You would not fear death as annihilation, and would feel your own consciousness gently disentangle itself from those others that so graciously couched it.

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I think there is an alternate side to this which Seth does not speak about: voluntary pain for certain gain. Why do we sometimes feel the urge to fast or curb ourselves from doing certain activities? Or why do we put ourselves in situations or do things which cause us so much physical pain? What do we learn from the experience?

Could it be that just as pain we did not intend to feel causes us to feel(or not) distance from the divine, we also consciously move toward physical pain to release ourselves from the stupor of everyday life so that we CAN feel closer to the divine? "Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive," writes the Goo Goo Dolls. Appropriate don't you think,  that in this day and age we are more likely to willingly cause ourselves pain than we are to experience the occasional accidental agony?

Reflecting on Death

It has been two months since my last post. Between my two kids finishing up with final school projects, my side business needing remodeling, my husband driving me insane from being home due to short term disability..... my head has been spinning. I've barely had time to breathe let alone write anything cogent here.

So the kids get done with school, we pack their bags so they can go up and spend the summer with the first wife, hubby is healing and on his way back to work.... and just as I'm getting settled in to get this house in order again I get one phone call after another giving me bad news after bad news. I'm wondering when it's going to stop. Deaths happen in threes, it seems.

Last week my grandfather died at the age of 82. I just went to his funeral today. Military honors and all. It was sweltering hot, everyone was sweating through their clothes and I have to say that we were (all 150 of us) holding up quite well until the Taps was played. Then we discovered there was a severe shortage of tissues. My twelve year old niece was sitting on my mother's lap and when the three shots were fired she screamed and had to be taken to the car. She and Grandpa were close and she was just plain devastated and traumatized by the whole thing.

My nephew(by marriage) was killed in a hit-and-run this past Saturday. That funeral will be this Friday. My poor brother-in-law drank himself silly the day after it happened. Mother and I took food over and sat with him and my sister. He started yammering on and on about killing the guy who killed his son and then sobbing about how wrong he was so say such things. All I can say at this point is that our whole family has gone slightly psycho this past week.

THEN tonight, only hours after getting home from my grandfather's funeral Mom calls me and tells me that a longtime friend of ours died on Monday. He was living with family in Joplin, Missouri when the tornadoes broke out. He had cirrhosis in his liver among other things. He'd been bed bound for a while. Well when the tornadoes hit, he jumped out of bed to try and get a bag together and get to a shelter. He never made it. He fell to the floor in his bedroom and went into multiple system failure, dying two days later in the hospital.

This past week has been filled with nothing but death. I hope these are the last funerals I have to attend for a while.

Any followers of this blog who've read my posts on grief know already that I believe that the 'grief' of a loved one's passing from this material world is ultimately a selfish expression. And a subconsciously jealous one. Sadness they're gone from us(if we allow it to) tends to spiral into a selfish circular logic which is all about what the survivor has 'lost' and not what the recently deceased has gained. An aunt of mine said it best today, "I'll see Daddy soon and I guess I'm just jealous, really." She gave a silly laugh and smile afterward and we shared a knowing look with one another. No one else at the table got it. They looked at her slightly horrified.

I had a wonderful experience just before Mom originally called me to tell me about Grandpa's death. She woke me up from a sound sleep with her call and only a short time earlier I remember dreaming that Grandpa and I were talking. It was almost like a phone conversation but ... closer. I can't tell who initiated the 'call' but he asked me some sensitive questions; things I don't think I could have had the nerve to explain in person. He hugged me and told me that he understood everything and why I made the decisions I did and that he loves me. And, "everything is ok." More questions were asked but- it was easier and more efficient that he just take the information he wanted and then he said good-bye. I felt like he pillaged parts of my soul with that last bit but it wasn't intrusive in a bad way. Just... efficient.

I told Mom about the dream and she said she was so thankful that grandpa and I got a chance to talk. I was so sick during Easter this year that I didn't get to see him during that last holiday get-together. We made our peace with one another. I was still pretty numb that day but you know what? I had my one cry-fest and then I was done with it. I remembered what grandpa said to me and just like that- my sadness was gone. It evaporated like morning dew on grass when the sun comes up hot and bright. I felt his presence for a day or so and then he was gone, at peace at last, lying beside his wife who he'd been missing for more than twenty-six years.

From the Nag Hammadi scrolls in the Manichaean literature section, I'd like to dedicate these verses to all our loved ones:

Come, spirit. Death has fallen, and sickness fled away.
Let there be no desire for the house of affliction,
which is wholly destruction and anguishing death.
You were cast out from your native abode. You suffered in hell.
Come nearer in gladness. Don't turn back
to regard the shape of the bodies. See, they return
through every rebirth, and through every agony
and every choking prison where they burn and sigh.
Come nearer. Don't be fond of perishing beauty
in any of its forms. It withers
and fades like a broken rose that dries in the sun,
its grace destroyed.
Princes and dead souls lie shackled in the tomb
where all is blackness.

My soul is saved.
I am dressed in light.

So this guy walks into heaven and says...

"I'll show him! I'll show him just how much I learned and how much I can do!" Man does wild karate movies and flips around wielding an old fashioned rotary phone by the cord.

"Interesting choice of weapon," said the woman who was attempting to usher the crazed man into heaven through a door. He didn't seem to see the door but kept running around her wild-eyed and sweaty faced.

"He'll be so proud of me!" the man screamed.

"You know, he-"

Crash. The rotary phone cord he was so precariously slinging around through the air wrapped a dozen times around his waist and the hard, heavy phone box smacked him in the face, knocking him unconscious.

"-already knows," the woman finished. "And he is already proud of you," she mumbled, sitting down beside him on the ground.

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There ya have it. That's the comic-strip caper Pleroma showed me this morning and I woke up snorting laughing. I think he was trying to show me just how ridiculous I was being, getting so stressed out with all this school stuff.

It was like a bad Jackie Chan outtake. A much needed comic relief, too. I'm feeling a bit less tense now. Although I have to admit, this has been the more sane dream I've had the past few days.

Three nights ago I dreamed snapshots of traveling with a man and a woman in a car. They were brother and sister. We were speeding over to my Mom's house to get a copy of her Will. Why, I haven't the foggiest clue. Dream never explained. Anyway, we got back in the car and suddenly we're at the intersection light just outside of my mother's community. Little snapshots here and there of the drive along to... the Post Office?!

I unlocked a mail box and just as the door swung out the scene changed and suddenly we were all standing in a department store, and more specifically the toy area. The other woman in the dream grabbed a baby doll(baby doll, not a Barbie) and wrapped her arms around it saying, "I think we should put diamonds in her head because she's just so gosh darn cute!"

wtf? I know, right? That's what I was saying out loud when I woke up from that bizarre little Masterpiece Theater.

Still don't have an explanation for it. And judging from the theme I don't don't think I want to find out any time soon.

A diamond is a pretty standard descriptive used to indicate the pineal gland in the brain when referring to gnosticism, which is thought to be the 'home base' of the telephone line to the All. The pine cone and the Third Eye are other representations.

Sterilization of Populations- The Akha, WHO, UNPF, & Obama's Science Advisor

The Sterilizations of Populations is going to be an ongoing series here on GU as I find more info.

Info about the Akha people.

The video's poster says, "Akha women are made to take the tetanus toxoid vaccination repeatedly during pregnancy despite the fact that we have documented cases of spontaneous abortion as a result. The Akha are told if they don't agree to the vaccination they will not be given an ID card for the baby. We just LOVE what the Thai government does to the Akha!"(that last bit was sarcasm on part of the poster.)

Vid #2: Forced vaccinations of Akha women during pregnancy cause miscarriages.

People commenting to these vids on YouTube are saying, "where's your documentation? Where's your proof? What does the World Health Organization(WHO) say about it?"

The answer is that they don't have anything to say about it except denial. Who(pun intended) do you think funds the research for these vaccines? The Rockefeller Foundation. "The foundation also has traditionally held a major portion of its shares portfolio in the family's oil companies, beginning with Standard Oil and now with its corporate descendants, including Exxon Mobil.[20]

And how about the United Nations Population Fund? Pay careful attention to the last section "Relations to the US Government." Forced abortions and sterilizations. The US cut off funding so EU stepped up. How nice. And now Obama gives thumbs up to money once again being sent to China to fund god-knows-what other kinds of reproductive atrocities.

Obama also hired John Holdren as Science Adviser. This article will horrify you.

Oh, and we can't forget about Bill Gates and his family's wonderful legacy in Africa and other third-world countries.

On Death, Grief, and Selfishness

We had a death in the family last week. On the day I found out about it I cried. The next day my tears wouldn't come and I had no answer as to why this was.

I loved this person. I still do. I miss them and I always will. This is what the emotional part of my mind keeps chanting. But there is something else I've discovered that lies under that thick layer of grief: joy.

Why?
And what is this joy?
Why do I feel this joy?
Where did my tears wander off to on that second day? Are my tear ducts malfunctioning?
Why am I not sad anymore?

I have grieved over loss in my past. This entire experience doesn't feel like the 'grief' I have known in the past, however. This feels different and I only discovered why when I let the rational part of my soul surface and allow me to pick apart every aspect of what I was feeling in a non-judgmental way. This distinction is important if we are to make real progress in finding gnosis. NON-judgmental rational thought. It can be scarier than heck because we're socially conditioned to categorize everything into Good, Bad, and Leave-The-Gray-Area-Alone.

That gray area is where gnosis exists. We have to learn to think outside the box that is this material world.

What I have concluded in my search for answers on this topic is that psychologists' definition of grief is backward in relation to gnosis. They believe and teach others that grief happens in stages. This I cannot really argue with. Our emotions do evolve. But dissecting the fundamental judgment they make about the cause of sadness in grief is dependent on one concept only-- that the sadness is based on a feeling of losing a loved one. The survivors are left behind with too many questions and these will supposedly never be answered. Dig deeper and you'll find an atheist component to this psychological argument. If you believe in heaven are you really losing someone or only have a brief period of time before you do see them again? So who's losing what here?

Psychologists cling to this loss rationale and never dig deeper.

I dare. I'll do it now.

Grief is selfish. It serves no purpose. Why do I say this? Because when you examine the very nature of "losing someone to death" you find that it is wrapped up in the survivor's experience. Not the one who died. It's all about what the survivor supposedly lost.

"I miss him/her!"
"I'll never see them again."
"I feel so lost without them."
"What am I going to do without them?"

Do these thoughts sound familiar?

Let me put this in another light. Suicide. Psychologists(and curiously enough, most religous clergy) teach the world that to commit suicide is the epitome of selfishness. Why? Again, because the survivor would miss out on the loving company of the one who wants to kill him/herself.

What exactly is selfish about realizing how hard and unforgiving and hellish this world is? What sane person wouldn't want out?! The answer is the person who is hylic/somatic. Worldly. Materialistic. Unable to see the forest for the trees. Cannot see the eternal nature that is our soul and our divine parent, Pleroma.

Am I advocating suicide? No. But I am advocating truth and the concept of the Bodhisattva, that is an enlightened person staying to teach instead of going back to Pleroma as they crave.

A Bodhisattva has the choice to stay or go. A person who is hit by a car doesn't. But as survivors we have a choice in how we react to OUR loss. Our jealous loss. We have a choice of either accepting that we will not see that person in their worldly body again until WE die and then move on -- or we can wallow in selfish grief.

Celebrate 2012!

...because it's just another year.

Gospel of Thomas, 51 "When will the repose of the dead come about, and when will the new world come?"

He said to them,"What you look forward to has already come but you do not recognize it."

The scripture before this is even more insightful:

Jesus said, "If they say to you, 'Where did you come from?', say to them, 'We came from the light, the place where the light came into being on its own accord and established itself and became manifest through their image.' If they say to you, 'Is it you?', say, 'We are its children, we are the elect of the living father.' If they ask you, 'What is the sign of your father in you?', say to them, 'It is movement and repose.'

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Living. Dead. It's all the same stuff to the good god. Energy isn't spent or destroyed. Merely moved. He loves you so much he wants to love you and squeeze you and call you George. Or Georgette. (blatant Loony Toons reference.) He doesn't want to let you go. You are a part of him. If he lost you then he would be losing a part of himself and any sentient, pleasure loving creature wouldn't want that. They'd do anything to stop losing a part of themselves.

Yes, I'm still planning on making my regular credit card payments in 2012. No, I'm not going to run naked through the streets like a crazed lunatic fearful of hellfire. If anything, I'll be celebrating it, if it is the end of all this madness!

Human beings have been preparing/going psycho on their fellow man for the apocalypse since 999AD. Nada gosh darn thing has happened.

According to tabloids the present day descendants of the Mayans who created the 2012 doomsday calendar are rolling their eyes at us. "White man so stupid," they're saying to themselves. Seriously. What exactly can we do to stop this supposed End of Days?

*crickets chirping*

Exactly.

So get off your arse and enjoy your life. Go grab a Smirnoff.Or a good book. Or both.