New Year's Resolutions

I decided that I'm going to have to suck it up and actually make some resolutions I'll stick to this year. "Only things which serve a clear purpose which I cannot talk myself out of." ... 'cause, you know, I think we're all pretty darn good at talking ourselves out of, well, anything. So my focus will be to become more strict with how I rationalize actions. Or inaction. That's just as dangerous.

My stepsons have been gone for around two weeks now for Winter Break at their birthmother's and lemme tell ya, I have lived in my pj's and fluffy house robe the majority of the time. It's so nice not to feel the push to get out of bed, organize someone's day for them, and then run around behind them making sure they actually fulfill their end of the bargain.

1. I will organize, expand upon, and POST the fifty million drafted blog posts which are clogging up this account. You think I'm kidding about the number?! I'm not. I write and write and write.... and never click Post. Can't figure this out. But I need to. I think that January will be a busy month, indeed, in this regard.
2. I have not been taking the time to really take care of my own intellectual/education needs and desires. I must make the time to read more and write more about what I read.
3. The boys have been in virtual school this year and I just cannot take the stress any longer. It started out being an experimental type thing and has ended up swallowing all of my brain cells. Emotionally, I am dead tired. I'm tired of the endless fighting over who's talking when they shouldn't be, who's slacking off and for how long, and the incessant aggravation of changing school curriculum and teachers. The virtual school just can't seem to keep the same teachers for these kids. What the deal is, I haven't a clue. But I'm just plain tired of it. So my third resolution is: Let the kids fall on their faces if that is their wish. No more begging. No more pleading. I am practicing laissez-faire from here on in concerning their virtual school work unless it is a Science project or other Portfolio. They're on their own. It's not that I don't care. Because I do. But I'm not holding their freaking hand anymore. It's ridiculous. The more I spoon-feed them the more miserable they make me and that's not exactly fair. They want my attention then they can get it-- AFTER school is done for the day. They spend more time talking than doing. They don't disrespect their teachers at "brick and mortar" this way. And yet they feel like it's perfectly acceptable to do this to me. And come to find out, the eldest son's teacher used to put him out in the hall for talking too much and disturbing others around him.(He talks to himself. Cannot read or solve a problem quietly to save his life.) I only find this out when last year's schooling is done and gone. Funny. So I started doing the same thing, making him go out into the hallway for 5 minutes. Then 10. Then 15. Works like a charm. If he's away from his books then he realizes that he's losing free time because he is out in the hall. And the younger son? Ugh. I don't even want to talk about it. He just plain pushes my buttons to push my buttons. He wants attention- fine. But with the way he acts he ends up getting negative attention. I don't understand his logic. And until he breaks his brain out of that cycle there's not a damn thing I can do with him.
   
4. Work on my relationship with my husband. Concentrate less on the kids and more on the husband. The logic then goes that by transferring more of my attention to my husband, he will then have to focus more on the kids, thus relieving me of more stress than I can handle. I think that works out pretty well.
   

Hubby wont put them back in "brick and mortar" school and so thinks that I should sit at the house and suffer. Nope. I've made up my mind. I'm not suffering anymore. I am getting caught up on my reading, article posting, and cleaning those drawers and closets which have been giving me the hairy eyeball for a few weeks now. The kids can do whatever they want; procrastinate until the cows come home! Even if that means they're up until nine o'clock at night still doing their schoolwork. Not my problem. Them doing schoolwork that late does not hinder my ability to cook dinner or anything else so.... oh well. Sucks to be them.

The theme to my year's resolutions seem to be getting away from micromanaging other people's lives so that I can, in fact, have one of my own.