Ground Zero Mosque

I regularly receive updates from the Judicial Watch legal organization. I've copied/pasted below the email notification I received just today. The links in my email worked perfectly. Why Blogger isn't accepting them is a mystery at this current time. I've edited and edited the html and it's just not working. Here is a direct link to the Judicial Watch update directly from their site. The links work there. I've tested them.

Judicial Watch doesn't just 'watch.' They actually file lawsuits against various branches of the US Government to obtain information about hidden actions in order to get the truth out. The fact that our representatives state that asking questions is "un-American" scares the hell out of me.


From the Desk of Judicial Watch President Tom Fitton:

Mayor Bloomberg’s Office Spearheaded Drive for

Ground Zero Mosque, New Docs Show

On July 2010, Mayor Bloomberg outrageously told reporters it was “un-American” to investigate the individuals behind the Ground Zero Mosque. Now we know why he wanted no one to look into the controversy.

Judicial Watch just obtained a new batch of documents from New York City Mayor Bloomberg’s office that show his office was instrumental in helping radical anti-American Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, his wife Daisy Khan and their partner Sharif el-Gamal obtain approval for a 13-story massive mosque and “community center” to be built in the shadow of Ground Zero, the site of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

These documents, which we obtained through open records requests and a related lawsuit, earned widespread press coverage in New York and around the country. (Here’s the New York Observer’s take to give just one example.) They included email correspondence between top officials inside the Mayor’s office and supporters of the Ground Zero Mosque, a project spearheaded by the Rauf-led Cordoba Initiative. The documents were made available to us on December 23. This unseemly Christmas dump is a well-known ploy by politicians to use the holidays to release bad news in the hopes that it will go unnoticed. (It didn’t work this time.)

Here are some of the documents’ key highlights:

• A May 10, 2010, email from Daisy Khan, listed as Executive Director of the American Society for Muslim Advancement, to Fatima Shama, Commissioner of the Mayor’s Office of Immigrant Affairs: “Is there a good time to chat tomorrow. We need some guidance on how to tackle the opposition.”
• A letter supporting the Ground Zero Mosque drafted by Nazi Parvizi, Commissioner of the Mayor’s Community Affairs Unit, to Julie Menin, Chairman of Manhattan’s Community Board 1, which had considered a resolution supporting the mosque. Parvizi crafted the letter for Daisy Khan’s signature, asking the board to temporarily withdraw the mosque resolution due to public outrage over the project. Parvizi described the purpose of the letter in a May 15, 2010, email: “What the letter will do, I hope, is get the media’s attention off everyone’s backs and give you guys time to regroup on your strategy as discussed…”
• A legal review of the Menin letter sent to the Mayor’s office by Rauf on May 15, 2010. The letter contemplates the impact that withdrawing the Community Board 1 resolution could have on the effort to de-designate the mosque site as a historical landmark at a June 22, 2010, Landmark Commission meeting, thus allowing the project to move forward:

  The Borough President (and Councilmember Chin) have a firm policy at speaking up at public agencies only after the community board has taken a position on an item. So withdrawing the resolution may affect their thinking about how helpful they can be on June 22. That in itself may not be fatal to getting [the site] de-designated but I do know that [Landmark Commission] Chairman Tierney was looking forward to having the "political cover" their support would bring him.

  The Landmark Commission ultimately decided to de-designate the property.

• A May 7, 2010, congratulations email from Shama to Rauf, Khan and el-Gamal after the Community Board 1 finance subcommittee expressed support for the Ground Zero Mosque project: “Again-congratulations!!! This is very exciting for all of you and the community at large! Daisy, as always – you were AMAZING last night – thank you!”
• A May 7, 2010, email from Khan to Rauf, el-Gamal and Shama after the finance subcommittee vote: “Just spoke with Commissioner Nazli Parvizi. She will call Julie Mennon [sic] to thank them for passing the resolution and ask how she can assist.”
• A January 2010 email exchange documenting Shama’s successful attempt to expedite a temporary public assembly permit so supporters of the Ground Zero Mosque could conduct prayers at the site.
• A series of email exchanges regarding a September 18, 2009, meeting between Shama, Rauf, el-Gamal, Khan and others from the Ground Zero Mosque project. A September 22, 2009, follow-up email summarized the meeting: “It was wonderful to be with everyone…on Friday night…Fatima mentioned that there are a number of concrete next steps that need to be undertaken re: the Cordoba House. In terms of a point person and centralized contact, please advise Fatima as to whom she should be in direct contact with on these and all other Cordoba House matters moving forward.”
• An April 22, 2010, email from Khan to Shama asking Shama to sign a letter of support for the Ground Zero Mosque project. “We have been honored to have developed a relationship with you over the last years…we consider you amongst our closest allies and friends.” The email included a draft letter for Shama to sign.

On August 9, 2010, Judicial Watch filed Freedom of Information Law (FOIL) requests with the Mayor’s office, seeking contacts between city officials and Rauf and controversial Muslim organizations. (Click here to review my post from a few weeks ago that highlighted some of the sordid details about these so-called “mainstream” Muslim organizations.)

After we received no response from Mayor Bloomberg’s office to our request and a subsequent administrative appeal, we filed a lawsuit in the New York State Supreme Court on November 4, 2010 to compel the Mayor’s office to comply with the open records requests. Our petition apparently got their attention.

Now there is no doubt. Mayor Bloomberg’s office was working hand-in-glove with the Muslim activists driving the unpopular Ground Zero mosque project. Now we know what the Mayor was trying to hide and why his office did not bother to comply with the Freedom of Information Law. But it shouldn’t have taken a lawsuit to get the details. New Yorkers want honesty and transparency from their Mayor, not obfuscation. They deserve to know the truth about this mosque.

And just to give you a sense of the close “allies and friends” of Mayor Bloomberg’s staff…

Feisal Abdul Rauf is well known for making a number of radical and controversial statements regarding Islamic extremism, particularly the terrorist attacks of 9/11. For example, during a 60 Minutes interview about the 9/11 terrorist attacks, Rauf said: “I wouldn’t say that the United States deserved what happened. But the United States’ policies were an accessory to the crime that happened…we have been an accessory to a lot of innocent lives dying in the world. In fact, in the most direct sense, Osama bin Laden is made in the USA.”

Now Rauf wants to build a Muslim complex adjacent to the spot where Muslim radicals murdered 3,000 innocents. And thanks to Mayor Bloomberg and his staff, it looks like he may get his wish.

New Year's Resolutions

I decided that I'm going to have to suck it up and actually make some resolutions I'll stick to this year. "Only things which serve a clear purpose which I cannot talk myself out of." ... 'cause, you know, I think we're all pretty darn good at talking ourselves out of, well, anything. So my focus will be to become more strict with how I rationalize actions. Or inaction. That's just as dangerous.

My stepsons have been gone for around two weeks now for Winter Break at their birthmother's and lemme tell ya, I have lived in my pj's and fluffy house robe the majority of the time. It's so nice not to feel the push to get out of bed, organize someone's day for them, and then run around behind them making sure they actually fulfill their end of the bargain.

1. I will organize, expand upon, and POST the fifty million drafted blog posts which are clogging up this account. You think I'm kidding about the number?! I'm not. I write and write and write.... and never click Post. Can't figure this out. But I need to. I think that January will be a busy month, indeed, in this regard.
2. I have not been taking the time to really take care of my own intellectual/education needs and desires. I must make the time to read more and write more about what I read.
3. The boys have been in virtual school this year and I just cannot take the stress any longer. It started out being an experimental type thing and has ended up swallowing all of my brain cells. Emotionally, I am dead tired. I'm tired of the endless fighting over who's talking when they shouldn't be, who's slacking off and for how long, and the incessant aggravation of changing school curriculum and teachers. The virtual school just can't seem to keep the same teachers for these kids. What the deal is, I haven't a clue. But I'm just plain tired of it. So my third resolution is: Let the kids fall on their faces if that is their wish. No more begging. No more pleading. I am practicing laissez-faire from here on in concerning their virtual school work unless it is a Science project or other Portfolio. They're on their own. It's not that I don't care. Because I do. But I'm not holding their freaking hand anymore. It's ridiculous. The more I spoon-feed them the more miserable they make me and that's not exactly fair. They want my attention then they can get it-- AFTER school is done for the day. They spend more time talking than doing. They don't disrespect their teachers at "brick and mortar" this way. And yet they feel like it's perfectly acceptable to do this to me. And come to find out, the eldest son's teacher used to put him out in the hall for talking too much and disturbing others around him.(He talks to himself. Cannot read or solve a problem quietly to save his life.) I only find this out when last year's schooling is done and gone. Funny. So I started doing the same thing, making him go out into the hallway for 5 minutes. Then 10. Then 15. Works like a charm. If he's away from his books then he realizes that he's losing free time because he is out in the hall. And the younger son? Ugh. I don't even want to talk about it. He just plain pushes my buttons to push my buttons. He wants attention- fine. But with the way he acts he ends up getting negative attention. I don't understand his logic. And until he breaks his brain out of that cycle there's not a damn thing I can do with him.
   
4. Work on my relationship with my husband. Concentrate less on the kids and more on the husband. The logic then goes that by transferring more of my attention to my husband, he will then have to focus more on the kids, thus relieving me of more stress than I can handle. I think that works out pretty well.
   

Hubby wont put them back in "brick and mortar" school and so thinks that I should sit at the house and suffer. Nope. I've made up my mind. I'm not suffering anymore. I am getting caught up on my reading, article posting, and cleaning those drawers and closets which have been giving me the hairy eyeball for a few weeks now. The kids can do whatever they want; procrastinate until the cows come home! Even if that means they're up until nine o'clock at night still doing their schoolwork. Not my problem. Them doing schoolwork that late does not hinder my ability to cook dinner or anything else so.... oh well. Sucks to be them.

The theme to my year's resolutions seem to be getting away from micromanaging other people's lives so that I can, in fact, have one of my own.

Book Review

The Nature of the Psyche: Its Human Expression
A Seth Book by: Jane Roberts

This is such a meaty book it's taken me over three weeks to finish. I kept having to put it away and take a break from it because it is so condensed. I'll be talking about it in depth further in small doses here and there as the subject matter pertains to opinions or experiences I have.

The astral personality, "Seth" has written quite a few books over the past thirty-something years. I read "Seth Speaks" around ten years ago and was nudged by Pleroma to find the book again very recently. Upon researching the first book I was flabbergasted to discover just how many more books Jane Roberts has published since.

Yes, I know I am quoting nearly entire pages at a time. Unfortunately, Seth is very ... choosy.. with his wording and specific. Such a large amount of information is crammed into paragraphs that this is the only way for you, the reader, to understand what I'm commenting on.

Page 41

"The [human] species has built into it all the knowledge, information, and "data" that it can possibly need under any and all conditions. This heritage must be triggered psychically, however, as a physical mechanism such as a muscle is triggered through desire or intent.

This does not mean that you learn what in larger terms you already know; as for example, if you learned a skill. Without the triggered desire, the skill would not be developed; but even when you do learn a skill, you use it in your own unique way. Still, the knowledge of mathematics and the arts is as much within you as your genes are within you. You usually believe that all such information must come from outside of your self, however. Certainly, mathematical formulas are not imprinted in the brain, yet they are inherent in the structure of the brain and implied within its existence. Your own focus determines the information that is available to you."

page 42

"This does not mean that any person, spontaneously, with no instruction, can suddenly become a great artist or writer or scientist. It does mean, however, that the species possesses within itself those inclinations which will flower. It means also that you are limiting the range of your knowledge by not taking advantage of such methods. It does not mean that in your terms all knowledge already exists, either, for knowledge automatically becomes individualized as you receive it, and hence, new.

Your desire automatically attracts the kind of information you require, though you may or may not be aware of it.

If you are gifted, and want to be a musician, for example, then you may literally learn while you are asleep, tuning in to the world view of other musicians, both alive and dead in your terms. When you are awake, you will receive inner hints, nudges or inspirations. You may still need to practice, but your practice will be largely in joy, and will not take as long as it might take others. The reception of such information facilitates skill, and operates basically outside of time's sequences.

......"It seems almost heresy to suppose that such knowledge is available, for then what use is education? Yet education should serve to introduce a student to as many fields of endeavor as possible, so that he or she might recognize those that serve as natural triggers, opening skills or furthering development. The student will, then, pick and choose."

**************************

Seth then goes on to briefly discuss categories of knowledge and traditions which allowed individuals to set aside accepted modes of perception to delve into other realms of knowledge. The problem then becomes language. This 'innate' genetic knowledge needs a way to be expressed.

I think that this is the real problem gnostics face and why our past expressions(Nag Hammadi codices, for example) have sided more with romantic verse than normal conversational language. Our 'mind perspective' has become so vastly expanded that our native tongue stumbles. We fumble around, looking for a more perfect word to describe 'immense' and 'forever,' meanwhile information is pouring into, not only our minds, but our hearts. Unspeakable and ineffable are two words which are repeated throughout gnostic texts and for very good reason.

Change is profound. How we deal with this is what makes our journey so unique. Do we stay in rigid dogmatic modes of thought and expression and only rely on those visualizations to express ourselves? Or do we throw caution to the wind and let our mind wander freely?

Seth says, "This heritage must be triggered psychically," and if I had read this book more than two years ago I'd have really been stumped as to what this means. Triggered as in 'decided upon' or triggered as in 'tripped over'? As a lay gnostic this "triggering" mechanism he speaks of means something quite simple and yet profound at the same time to me: connection.

This connection with Pleroma/The All/Source, etc, is like a torrential flood of love and information when activated. How or when does it occur? Awake or asleep, it can occur. We make life altering decisions in our sleep quite often but don't remember it.

We hold ourselves back because we're so utterly terrified of being alone. That is why the contrasting emotions from Pleroma feel so delusional at times. So when that conscious choice is made to (re)connect it seems as though we're bit out of our heads at first. Hence, the honeymoon period. Euphoria. Absolute euphoria. Like being wrapped in the softest, warmest blanket and cuddled.

Small nudges here and there. Turning left instead of right. Not speaking when we normally would have before. Sensing the larger cause and that patience is not just a virtue of some Romantic era but the natural way to function appropriately for your own personal growth. Feeling that, even though the world's gone mad, "everything will be alright" actually makes sense although we don't know why.

Something to ponder: maybe this is why Socrates had more fun listening than talking.

Cringe-Worthy News

I cannot, absolutely cannot, believe I am writing this blog post. I cannot believe that the legal system in my country resorts to the kind of twisted entrapment just to get a pervert off the streets.

Looking up the actual legal definition for "entrapment" leads me to believe that it's not so much a standard case of entrapment, but still a legal nightmare nonetheless. I happen to live close to where this pedophile will(eventually) be jailed and I cannot believe I am defending any part of his case but that's just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes. My comments are below the short article, attention given to red text.

Pedophile's Guide author locked up in Polk County Jail

Bartow, Channel 13 News. Article last updated: Tuesday, December 21, 2010 1:15 PM

Polk County Sheriff's Office detectives are in Colorado making an arrest for violation of obscenity laws.

According to Polk Sheriff Grady Judd, the sheriff's office, along with authorities in Pueblo, Colo., have arrested Phillip R. Greaves II, the author of the book "The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure: A Child-Lover's Code of Conduct."

Greaves was arrested on charges of distribution of obscene material depicting minors engaged in harmful conduct, which is a third-degree felony.

Judd said Internet Crimes Division detectives who were investigating the case researched the book and inquired about receiving a copy. Judd detectives paid $50 and Greaves sent the book to an address in Lakeland, which violated state obscenity laws and led to the arrest. Judd said Greaves even signed the book he sent.

Investigators said the book contained graphic stories describing sex acts involving adults and minors.

Officials requested a warrant and made an arrest Monday. Greaves has no other connection to Florida.

Judd said Greaves could be extradited to Polk County as soon as today. Even if Greaves were to fight extradition, Judd said he likely would be brought to Polk County within 30-60 days.

Amazon pulled the book off its website earlier this year after an online boycott against the book led by a Lakeland woman.

"He wrote this book specifically to teach people how to molest and rape children,'' Judd said. "You cannot engage in or depict children in a harmful light.

"There may be nothing the other 49 states can do but there is something Florida can do. We can prosecute (Phillip Greaves) for this manifesto.''

************************************

So, Colorado detectives had the author send the paid-for book to an address in Florida, thereby breaking the law. Because Florida is the only one of fifty freaking states which has obscenity laws?!!

I'm not condoning pedophilia. I am in no way supporting this bastard's sick book. But I am opposed to someone in law enforcement requesting an author ship out their book to a place in order to take advantage of the law there. What, was the book for a "friend" in Florida? A Christmas gift, perhaps?

Ugh. It just sickens me. It sickens me on so many levels that it's all just a big mushy mess in my head. There's right and there's wrong. Their are shades of gray. Then there are those tricky little legal scenarios which make mutter to yourself, "Wow, wonder how that's going to turn out?"

It's like with the whole Wikileaks deal going on now. The guy leaks tons of classified military documents on wars and actions taken by governments and you've got half the people commenting on how heinous a thing it is for Assange to do what he does and the other half screaming about what a saint he is. Then when new leaked reports about certain American pharmaceutical company's criminal testing activities are brought forward and discussed, all of a sudden everyone swings over to Assange's side in vilifying the US government and the FDA. Oh come on now. What happened to all that patriotism?

When it involves killing people in wars it's ok with half of the population because, let's face it, there are a lot of veterans and relatives of veterans who have strong feelings. But when it comes to our household medicine cabinet then that hits a little too close to home for comfort.

Conclusion: "patriotism" is just a PR tactic to divide and control populations. I think the only loyalties we should have is to one another as part of the human race. And in order to be true "patriots" for ourselves and others that means doing the difficult thing, even if it means giving up our own comforts. Unselfish behavior is so rarely seen today that we have difficulty quantifying it let alone understanding it when it is a pure thing.

Christmas

Hmm.. Haven't thought about this a lot actually, even with the Holiday itself only a few weeks away. Hubby and I don't have any real religious traditions. His ex-wife has the tree and all that paraphernalia.

I personally loathe the holidays because of the commercialism behind it. When more than three of your friends/family resort to buying gift cards for everyone else, you know the religious spirit behind it is utterly and completely dead. I just can't get with it anymore. As a kid I loved it. But now? I am thirty years old and I DON'T EVEN OWN A CHRISTMAS TREE!! No joke. Not even a little bitty one.

I do not own one decoration which should go on a tree. I do not even own a wreath. As I write this I feel like I should be sad about it but somehow I just can't. I think I've become more ascetic as the years pass. I could fit every single one of my possessions in two large trunks. (Besides the pots and pans, of course.)

But the two stepsons are big into the holidays so I let them draw and create some decorations today. Some of it was pretty darn neat! I created some mazes for them and after they solved them, they decided to take colored pencils and crayons to them, shading them in like mandalas and big shiny Christmas tree balls. They're taped on a wall near a table which serves as the place where wrapped presents reside until The Big Day. If the kids would like to continue decorating then so be it. Let them express their childhood emotions about the holiday. I even dug up a few jars of glitter paint for them to get happy with.

I don't know. I just feel more alive during the summer, I guess. Winter makes me want to curl up with a good book and have my two kitties snuggled beside me.

Zeitgeist?

I heard this word at the end of a rather... bloody... dream I had last evening.

The dream images were so disturbing I really don't feel like I can write about it. I want to scrub my brain with bleach.

Anyone have any ideas on the relevance of this particular word right now in the news?

Definition:

–noun, German .

the spirit of the time; general trend of thought or feeling characteristic of a particular period of time.

Somebody finally sued TSA for unlawful groping!

In the "search and seizure" aspect of this case..... what did the TSA seize, exactly? Was it his testicles? Does he want them back?

I joke about this but on a serious note: good for him! And good for us. Because somebody needs to tell Uncle Sam that it's not ok to touch our no-no's, let alone look at them through a "low level" radiation view finder toy.

Arkansas Man Sues Over Enhanced TSA Screenings

Tuesday, November 23 2010

(Little Rock, AR) -- Airports across the country are bracing for possible protests at security checkpoints Wednesday.

It's all surrounding the body-imaging machines that are now being used. And right now a Little Rock man is going to court over it, saying the technology violates passenger constitutional rights.

As travelers come in and out of Little Rock National Airport, they won't come across a body-imaging machine.

There are over 450 airports in the U.S., only 69 have the approximately 400 body-imaging scanners. Little Rock National Airport isn't one of them.

Robert Dean says it doesn't matter. After going through one in Chicago a few weeks ago, he's asking the federal court in Little Rock to step in.

"Filing for an injunction will stop these types of invasive measures until we can get a ruling on the constitutionality of this," Dean says.

He's talking about the enhanced pat downs too. According to the TSA, less than 3% of travelers actually undergo the more invasive security check.

But airports are bracing for passengers to opt out of the body-imaging scanners Wednesday, leading to enhanced pat downs. Dean says he doesn't like the new security measures but hopes protests do not occur.

"Peaceful demonstrations and non-violent protest have their purpose but I'm not sure this is the time and place to do this when we have legal means in which to address this through a court system," Dean says.

Dean's lawsuit claims the new security measures violate his civil rights and his 4th amendment right protecting against unlawful search and seizure. He added the current metal detectors system is sufficient because the new enhanced measures wouldn't have stopped the attempted underwear bomber last Christmas Day because the flight originated overseas.

So this guy walks into heaven and says...

"I'll show him! I'll show him just how much I learned and how much I can do!" Man does wild karate movies and flips around wielding an old fashioned rotary phone by the cord.

"Interesting choice of weapon," said the woman who was attempting to usher the crazed man into heaven through a door. He didn't seem to see the door but kept running around her wild-eyed and sweaty faced.

"He'll be so proud of me!" the man screamed.

"You know, he-"

Crash. The rotary phone cord he was so precariously slinging around through the air wrapped a dozen times around his waist and the hard, heavy phone box smacked him in the face, knocking him unconscious.

"-already knows," the woman finished. "And he is already proud of you," she mumbled, sitting down beside him on the ground.

*********************************

There ya have it. That's the comic-strip caper Pleroma showed me this morning and I woke up snorting laughing. I think he was trying to show me just how ridiculous I was being, getting so stressed out with all this school stuff.

It was like a bad Jackie Chan outtake. A much needed comic relief, too. I'm feeling a bit less tense now. Although I have to admit, this has been the more sane dream I've had the past few days.

Three nights ago I dreamed snapshots of traveling with a man and a woman in a car. They were brother and sister. We were speeding over to my Mom's house to get a copy of her Will. Why, I haven't the foggiest clue. Dream never explained. Anyway, we got back in the car and suddenly we're at the intersection light just outside of my mother's community. Little snapshots here and there of the drive along to... the Post Office?!

I unlocked a mail box and just as the door swung out the scene changed and suddenly we were all standing in a department store, and more specifically the toy area. The other woman in the dream grabbed a baby doll(baby doll, not a Barbie) and wrapped her arms around it saying, "I think we should put diamonds in her head because she's just so gosh darn cute!"

wtf? I know, right? That's what I was saying out loud when I woke up from that bizarre little Masterpiece Theater.

Still don't have an explanation for it. And judging from the theme I don't don't think I want to find out any time soon.

A diamond is a pretty standard descriptive used to indicate the pineal gland in the brain when referring to gnosticism, which is thought to be the 'home base' of the telephone line to the All. The pine cone and the Third Eye are other representations.

Absence Makes The Heart Grow.... Weary

My two stepsons are at their birthmother's house all this week for Thanksgiving Break so I am finally feeling the rusty pressure-release valve turning inside my brain. As I sit here and write this I think, "this has been the worst month and a half in my life." Not true, of course. There have been far darker Pits I've trudged through in my past that I'll never talk about. But right now it seems like the worst only because I'm neck deep in it. When I woke up from my nap this afternoon I felt like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Now I finally have the courage to set fingertips to keyboard once again. I've been neglecting the blog for a reason.

Two day ago I wrote this in a journal and have copied it here verbatim:

The kids are gone for a week! YAY!! This is both a good thing and a bad thing. Good for me and bad for my husband because he wont leave me alone. "Let's run around the house naked all week!" he says. Granted, we did this a lot during Summer Break. It was fun. I'm all for nudism in the home. Very freeing.

But right now my heart's just not in it. So he's pissy because I need time alone. Preferably in the closet with my pillow and blanky. *sigh* Which makes me angry at myself because I totally understand his perspective. So how does the practical gnostic say to her somewhat materialistic non-gnostic husband, "Honey, I'm hearing voices in my head and I'm sorry but I really need you to go away for a while?"

The past month and a half I've been away from the blog(not posting anything personal, just copy/pasting interesting world news) it's basically been because of child education issues. Which has led to a level of frustration so extreme I've closed myself off from Pleroma. What can I say? Aggravation makes one do counterproductive and idiotic things. That's the only defense I have and the backlash has been making me crazy.

Week One: phft. I can handle all this. What's the big deal. I can take care of this on my own.
Week Two: Migraine. And lots of muscle relaxers + Xanax to keep my cool.
Week Three: Screaming at the kids to get their heads out of their butts and to quit taking advantage of my good nature and willingness to help. Not successful.
Week Four: Insomnia.
Week Five: Lost my temper finally and told hubby I want the kids back in brick-and-mortar school. Pronto. As in... yesterday!

A few days ago I finally sat back and realized what I was doing. What I had done to my relationship with Pleroma.

Later that night in my sleep I started hearing lyrics to an Averil Lavigne song. "Who knows what could happen, do what you do just keep on laughing. One thing's true- there's always a brand new day."

The one section Pleroma seems to be bashing against my skull like an anvil is the high pitched, breathy falsetto line of: "Find yourself- who are you?!" He pauses at this particular line and slams his cosmological finger on the repeat button to make sure I hear it at least twenty times before moving onto the same verse, same as the first! I'm Henry the Eighth I am. Henry the Eight I am I am... kidding. But no, really. The repetition of those few lines is pushing me over the edge. I used to like the song. Now I'm ready to crush the damn CD into little itty bitty pieces with my bare hands because it makes me so mad.

This morning in my sleep he moved onto a heartfelt rendition of Chris Isaak's, "Wrong To Love You." (*groan* sappy much?) The vibe I got from him wasn't condemnation or irritation with me so much as sadness and longing. Chris' "Heart Shaped World" came next. Four am and I've got the verses of this song running through my head with the visuals of the "Wicked Game" music video. Dear god. Enough already!!!!!

I've been slowly tuning back in. It's rough. My head aches and my heart is crying. I have to make a tough decision here about the kids' schooling and I don't think anybody's going to be happy with it but me.

We've tried virtual schooling since August of this year. The youngest was being bullied and the eldest showed potential to do far more than what the school would allow him to do. The first month and a half was insane as we tried to learn a completely new system of learning. By the first part of October we were doing fine. Then things started happening which made me realize just how much more independent the boys were truly capable of being but were simply choosing not to be. So I slowly backed off and gave them room to grow. They showed out with temper tantrums and thirteen hour days instead of six. It's all about what they choose to do. It's completely up to them. Brow beating them doesn't work anymore. They're immune to it.

Virtual schooling is a privilege, not a right. Well, technically, it is a "right" of every American parent, however in this particular instance I'm stating that it is a privilege which is just as easily taken away as anything else.

I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting with them, tired of school feeling like a war I wake up to every morning, tired of fighting with my husband over why the kids are still doing schoolwork at 7 o'clock at night, and most of all I'm tried of trying to make peace when all three of them apparently don't give a crap about how much stress this puts me under and how much worse my chronic pain illness flares up because of it. The kids say they want to do virtual school but their actions speak volumes of the opposite and nothing I do seems to change their mind.

When my body pain flares due to stress the entire household essentially shuts down because I am in bed. Nobody seems capable of doing anything correctly without me standing over them or smacking them on the back of the head. Or reminding them. Or writing a list. Or taking away their video games. Or pointing out the obvious fact that no, honey, I'm not going to be able to cook dinner tonight. I'm laying down on the bed with a heating pad behind my shoulders, an icepack on my forehead, and am chugging down Cherry Coke at a frightening speed just to keep the migraine at bay with the caffeine. (I can't take Excedrin because it makes me dizzy so I have to get my caffeine through other products.)

As much as I positively love the flexibility of virtual school for the boys(I could write a book on the virtues of it!! I really do love it! I see it's positive worth and the kids have gained invaluable experience from it.) - it's killing me. Giving deadlines and setting kitchen timers for completing assignments and changing their procrastinating 'I just want to talk and not do schoolwork' attitude hasn't worked. The more I try to steer them in line the more they resist. It's created more tension. Being the stepmom who has the kids during the school year really sucks sometimes. She got out of the marriage easy and honestly? Some days I really hate her for it.

Their birthmom gets the fun job of simply picking them up on Holidays and taking them out for amusement park trips. I'm the one who has the onerous job of making sure their schooling is taken care of. If I don't then I look just as bad as she did when she was married to hubby. She certainly didn't give a damn. So why should I? (I'm suffering from Second-Wife-Syndrome, can't you tell?)

Answer: because I love the boys and I want them to grow up to be flexible, independent minded adults; not sheep. They show the capacity for learning.

But the more I "care" the more they pit their attitudes against me. I feel like a failure. And it doesn't matter how many logical discussions we have together or individually. They understand the rationale. They really do! They simply choose not to care.

And this is why I'm done with virtual school and being so involved with their schooling, period. I do care. But I care about my sanity more. And that's really the bottom line. If I'm driven bonkers because I care so much then how can I help out around the house and do the basic things which need to be done? Hubby has gotten so used to me taking over all the schooling issues that he just sits back and lets me do it all. Well, my lips are sealed as of today. He's going to have to grow a pair and take hold of the reins.

So that's the end of the book I wrote yesterday. When I woke up from my afternoon nap today it was from a nightmare. Vivid. I felt like if I opened my eyes I'd be right smack in the middle of it. This nightmare is what prompted me to sit down at the computer today and take stock of what has happened the past few weeks.

The nightmare was what our school day was going to be like this coming Tuesday when they returned from their birthmother's. Time-outs. Yelling. Frustration. Whining. More time-outs. Procrastination. Rinse and repeat at will.... And then finally, both boys end up sitting on their bed, grounded, the rest of the afternoon because they are simply not willing to quietly do their work.

We have had whole afternoons like that in the past. Few and far between but yes, they have occurred. So it's not some surreal creation of my imagination. But when I woke up it felt like a horrible epiphany and I had to act on it. So swallowed my angst and asked what it meant. The answer? "You already know." Gee. Thanks.

Sarcasm aside, yes, I do know what it means. Sometimes you gotta ask stupid questions and get stupid answers before you sit up and take note of the obvious. Thick head and all that.

Hubby and I have been arguing about this for about two weeks now. I told him I was done two weeks ago. He remained hopeful that I'd find another positive "wave" coming into shore and would ride out this negative one, thus forgetting why I was so upset. Nope. Ain't gonna happen.

I really am done being their "Learning Coach," as the school calls the position of the parent who stays home with the child(ren). More like their babysitter without the benefits of being recognized as an authority on anything more than answering ridiculous questions like, "But I don't understand this. What does this say?" *sigh* If a child can read(and mine can, very very well, thank you.) then following simple step-by-step instructions isn't difficult. If it is then you have a learning problem. These boys don't. Or, if they'd like to make one up it'd be called "ActLikeAnIdiotAndMaybeShe'llBeStupidEnoughToGiveUsTheAnswer."

Sorry, but this momma ain't no dummy. I wasn't born one and I certainly didn't become one by marrying their father. My IQ did not drop when I said "I Do" and they knew me for quite a while before I said those words. I see right through them. And when they're faced with this knowledge they clam up and then act even more belligerent.

So, that's where I've been the past few weeks. In my own little private hell of my own making. Because you know, I'm the one who pushed for them to try virtual school in the first place when the bullying became too much and the other child's potential was staring us in the face. I'm the one who jumped through the fiery hoops to make it all happen, which, by the way, took months of preparation.

Now I have to figure out how I'm going to react when they come back from vacation. Pondering. Musing. I'm getting there, slowly but surely. The fact that I'm putting my foot down already makes me feel about 20% better. Now maybe I can ease up on the Cherry Coke.

*******************************

The title of a book I'd read in the past came to mind from Pleroma a few days ago and I finally acted on the direction to look it up again. It's the series of books by Jane Roberts which begins with "Seth Speaks." That's actually the only one I've read. It blew my mind. Opened doors.

Now I find out there were other Seth books put out by the "author." I have them on the way and look forward to revisiting this character. I peeked into The Nature of Psyche: Its Human Expression on Amazon and found a passage which held me riveted to my chair for a full hour in silent contemplation. As a lay gnostic with some time and experience with Pleroma, I think I can read Seth's writings in a different light now. It's glaringly obvious now what I was reading at the time in Seth Speaks, however, I stalled for years until another knock came on my mental door, and that was the call to layman's gnosis.

From page four of the Nature of Psyche: Its Human Expression:

"... for each of your experiences, however minute or seemingly insignificant, becomes part of the knowledge of your species. Where did you come from and where are you going? What are you? What is the nature of the psyche?

I can only write a portion of this book. You must complete it. For "The Psyche" is meaningless concept as it relates to the individual psyche. I speak to you from levels of yourself that you have forgotten, and yet not forgotten. I speak to you through the printed page, and yet my words will rearouse within you the voices that spoke to you in your childhood, and before your birth.

This will not be a dry treatise, studiously informing you about some hypothetical structure called the psyche, but will instead evoke from the depths of your being experiences that you have forgotten, and bring together from the vast reaches of time and space the miraculous identity that is yourself."

Br. Jay on Night Caravan wrote:

Adam....Where is Your Leaf?

Jesus said, "Adam came from immense power and wealth, but he wasn't worthy of you. If he was worthy, he wouldn't have tasted death." Gospel of Thomas 85

Adam came from God, and yet he chose to fall into ignorance. The death is the blindness of the soul to that of the spirit. He forgot where he came from, and who he was. The practice of this way is not easy. It is much easier to fall into ignorance again and again. What a challenge to keep this fire going day and night. Only those who pursue this gnosis will taste of it. One need not convert to my religion or any particular religion to know this gnosis. However one must do the work and be met by grace that changes everything about you. The fruit of this is compassion.



Amen, Brother!

Vital Drug Shortages- Who is to blame??

I find this news topic intriguing on a number of levels. First, why wouldn't the FDA slap a 'negligent attitude' type lawsuit against Big Pharma? Because that's exactly what they are, negligent. Second, can anyone else read between the lines here? We're being exterminated, one sick population segment at a time. I smell something in the air.... could it be.. maybe? .... a newly formed underground black market for these types of 'discontinued' or 'unavailable drugs.' Either way, the company gets it's money.

When vital drugs run out, patients pay the price

150 medications in short supply so far this year; deaths, injuries have followed

By JoNel Aleccia Health writer

msnbc.com msnbc.com

updated 10/27/2010 8:24:19 AM ET

Cancer patient Bob Dierker had just finished eight of 12 chemotherapy sessions when technicians broke the news.

Next time, they said, he'd get no leucovorin, the generic medication long used to battle his type of aggressive Stage 3 colorectal cancer. The drug was in short supply across the nation and he'd have to go without.

“It was like getting shot in the stomach,” said Dierker, 64, a lawyer from Fairfax, Va. “My odds just dropped dramatically because I can’t get this drug.”

Exactly how Dierker’s chances of beating the cancer will be affected is unclear, said his oncologist, Dr. Alexander Spira. Leucovorin has been used to boost the effectiveness of cancer drugs for decades, so no one knows how badly patients will fare without it. But Dierker is not alone.

Across the United States, life-saving or medically necessary drugs are running low — or running out — endangering care and increasing the odds of medication mistakes for a broad swath of patients.

Health officials say drug shortages pose a growing public health crisis, fueled in large part by financial motives of drugmakers who’ve watched low-cost generics erode their profits.

Numerous drugmakers contacted by msnbc.com either refused to comment on the shortages or confirmed only that they exist. None would discuss financial considerations.

Unprecedented numbers

“It’s disaster management, daily,” said Erin Fox, manager of the Drug Information Service at the University of Utah Health Care, who has tracked drug shortages for a decade. “The numbers are unprecedented.”

In 2005, Fox recorded 74 drug shortages in the U.S. By 2009, the number had jumped to 166. As of Sept. 10 this year, Fox had logged 150 new shortages — in addition to 30 drug shortages still unresolved and more being reported every week.

Worse, the drugs that are in short supply are often the ones needed most. This year has seen shortages of common drugs used for basic treatments: morphine for pain relief, propofol for sedation, Bactrim injections for infections.

Sterile injectables, including the pre-filled epinephrine syringes used in emergencies for heart attacks and allergic reactions, have been particularly hard to get.

“Our usual, everyday workhorse drugs are no longer available,” said Fox. “It’s just the unavailability of everything that we need every day.”

About 40 percent of the shortages are caused by manufacturing problems, including safety issues, said Valerie Jensen, associate director of the Food and Drug Administration's drug shortage program. Nearly 20 percent are caused when firms simply stop making drugs and another 20 percent are due to production delays. The rest are chalked up to raw material shortages, increased demand, site issues and problems with parts such as syringes or vials.

But underlying them all is the profitability problem, said Jensen.

“Normally, it’s a business decision. That does lead to shortages,” said Jensen. "These are just not usually money-makers."

FDA can't require drug production

Despite the concerns of doctors and pharmacists — and the distress of patients — no one can force the drugmakers to address the problem.

The FDA has no authority to compel drugmakers to continue producing a certain drug, or to require them to make a drug that’s in short supply, Jensen confirmed. And companies aren’t required to inform the agency about impending shortages unless the drugs don't have an alternative. Even then, there are no sanctions if they don’t.

When firms do tell FDA about a problem, the agency can’t publicly divulge proprietary information, Jensen said. Shortages on the FDA’s website are often chalked up to mysterious “manufacturing delays,” or frequently, no reason at all.

That has created a system in which pharmacists, doctors and patients may not know that a shortage exists until a drug is needed — and even then they don’t know how long it will last.

“There has been a lot of 11^th hour scrambling,” said Dr. Richard L. Schilsky, a professor of medicine and chief of hematology/oncology at the University of Chicago. “We literally don’t know from week to week who’s going to be able to be treated.”

The problem has reached such a peak that four leading groups representing cancer doctors, anesthesiologists, pharmacists and safety advocates have convened an invitation-only meeting in Bethesda, Md., on Nov. 5. They’re asking drugmakers and supply chain representatives to join health experts and observers from the FDA to hammer out solutions.

“I’m going to give these folks the benefit of the doubt and assume they don’t know the impact at the patient care level,” said Bona Benjamin, director of medication-use quality improvement at the American Society of Health System Pharmacists.

But a nationwide survey of 1,800 health care workers conducted this summer by the Institute for Safe Medication Practices left little doubt about the impact on patients.

Two deaths blamed on morphine shortage

“It’s really a mess out there,” said Michael Cohen, director of ISMP, a nonprofit group that aims to reduce medical errors. “It is making us compromise the way we do things normally.”

More than half of the respondents to ISMP said that in the past year they had “always” or “frequently” encountered shortages of a list of common drugs.

One in three reported that the shortages caused medication errors that could have harmed patients and one in four said the mistakes reached patients. One in five said patients were actually harmed.

“We had two deaths where there was a morphine shortage,” Cohen said, explaining that a much more potent replacement drug, hydromorphone, was given at the level of the original, overdosing the patients.

Another patient woke up mid-way through surgery because medical crews trying to conserve the sedative propofol had given too little medication for the patient’s weight.

Such critical mistakes are bound to happen when shortages of so many drugs start to add up, said Thomas Burnakis, clinical coordinator of pharmacy services at Baptist Medical Center in Jacksonville, Fla.

“If I am the best centerfielder in the world, you can hit me a pop fly and I’ll catch it. You can hit me two or even three and I’ll catch them,” he said. “If you start hitting me 15, I’m going to start dropping them.”

It’s not just the mainstream drugs that are the problem. Shortages of niche drugs or those used for rare conditions have occurred, too.

In January, sufferers of a potentially blinding condition called birdshot retinochoroidopathy uveitis learned that Zenapax, the best drug for keeping symptoms at bay, had been discontinued by drugmaker Roche.

“I cannot tell you the panic I felt,” said Lynn Shaw, a 60-year-old nurse from Franklin, Mass., who was diagnosed with the disease 2 ½ years ago. “I was positive I was going to lose my vision. I thought, ‘Oh, my god, I’m going to go blind because of these jerks.'”

Chris Vancheri, a spokesman for Roche, said the company decided to stop making the drug, which is normally used in kidney transplant patients, because there were alternative treatments available. The problem, Shaw and other patients said, is that alternative drugs are either less effective or pose unacceptable side effects such as life-threatening high blood pressure and liver damage.

Drug companies won't talk

Shaw believes that Roche, like many manufacturers, stopped production when generics undercut the brand name price. Vancheri would not comment on the profitability of Zenapax.

Nor would representatives for Teva Pharmaceuticals and Bedford Laboratories, the makers of leucovorin, discuss the reasons for the shortage of the generic drug that has left Bob Dierker, the Virginia lawyer, with depleted cancer treatments.

Bedford representatives did not return repeated calls and e-mails from msnbc.com. Teva representative Denise Bradley would only confirm what patients have known for months, that the drugmaker halted production at its Irvine, Calif., plant in April.

"I do not have an estimated date of when we will resume manufacturing at this time," Bradley wrote in an e-mail.

Representatives for the drug manufacturers’ trade group, PhRMA, declined to discuss the largest-ever drug shortage in the nation, referring questions to individual manufacturers.

But Dierker thinks he knows what’s behind the recent shortage of generic leucovorin, the second since 2008. In some regions, a 50-milligram dose of generic leucovorin costs 98 cents; a newer brand-name alternative called Fusilev costs $184.08. But many insurance companies, including Dierker's, won't pay for it.

“It’s money, pure and simple,” said Dierker, a new grandfather who fears he won’t see 6-month-old Rhett grow up.

He’d like to do something about the shortage: organize a class action lawsuit, get a colleague to pursue a criminal case. But for now, he’s just angry.

“To have some faceless, nameless coward running a pharmaceutical lab decide he wants a bigger BMW and isn’t going to make your drug — I feel helpless,” Dierker said. “That’s the really frustrating thing, not to be able to do anything about it.”

Guatemala's Secret STD Experiments

Just released YESTERDAY, this article makes me asks a pretty obvious question: who shuffled this information into the wrong box? Or was it the wrong box? Still trust the Department of Health? Don't. They obviously only want guinea pigs for their Live Action studies.

The Tuskegee Experiment was called "arguably the most infamous biomedical research study in U.S. history." Well, here's some news- how about chemtrails? Great Britain's "Health Department" refuses to answer questions about the obvious chemical trails in the sky criss crossing the aerial view of certain locales. The US government denies it as well even though there are hundreds of videos released every day on YouTube SHOWING the difference between a contrail(normal condensation trail) and a chemtrail. Look up and the evidence is right there in your face.

This Guatemalan experiment may have ended in 1948 after two years but the Tuskegee experiment went unchecked for forty!!! Aerial biochemical experiments upon the civilians of our world have been going on for at least a hundred years.

U.S. apologizes to Guatemalans for secret STD experiments

By Brett Michael Dykes
Fri Oct 1, 1:04 pm ET

U.S. scientific researchers infected hundreds of Guatemalan mental patients with sexually transmitted diseases from 1946 to 1948 -- a practice that only came recently to light thanks to the work of an academic researcher. On Friday, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius issued a formal apology to the Central American nation, and to Guatemalan residents of the United States.

"Although these events occurred more than 64 years ago, we are outraged that such reprehensible research could have occurred under the guise of public health," said Clinton and Sebelius in a joint statement. "We deeply regret that it happened, and we apologize to all the individuals who were affected by such abhorrent research practices."

The discovery of the long-ago experiments stems from another, far better known episode of federal tampering with test subjects to study sexually transmitted diseases: the long-running "Tuskegee experiment," studying 399 poor black men from Macon County, Ala., who had been diagnosed with syphilis but never informed of their condition. Federal scientists simply told the men they had "bad blood" and researchers compiled a four-decades-long study monitoring "untreated syphilis in the male Negro." Researchers never treated the illness over its usually fatal course, even after the simple remedy of penicillin was shown to be an effective syphilis treatment; participants received only free meals and medical exams, together with federal funding of their funeral expenses after they died. The study began in 1932, continuing right through to 1972, when it was exposed in media reports.

One of the better-known experts on the Tuskegee scandal is Susan Reverby, a professor of women's and gender studies at Wellesley College who has published two books on the subject. As she was researching her most recent book, Reverby learned of the Guatemalan project, in which researchers from the U.S. Public Health Service conducted experiments on 696 male and female patients housed at Guatemala's National Mental Health Hospital. The scientists injected the patients with gonorrhea and syphilis -- and even encouraged many of them to pass the disease on to others.

"It was done in conjunction with the Guatemalan government," Reverby told The Upshot in a phone interview Friday morning. "They had permission from the Guatemalan government."

Reverby explained that she learned of the Guatemala study purely by accident.

"I was in the archives of the University of Pittsburgh looking at the papers of the surgeon general at the time," Reverby said. "And the papers there were also the papers of a man named John Cutler, who had also been involved in the Tuskegee study. When I opened the boxes of the Cutler papers, there was nothing in it about Tuskegee, but there was everything about this Guatemala study."

Reverby -- who was instrumental in getting former President Bill Clinton to offer an apology for the Tuskegee experiment in 1997 -- told us that she informed Dr. David Sencer, the former head of the Centers for Disease Control; Sencer then passed the discovery up the chain of command in the U.S. government.

"As with many of these things, it was just pure serendipity," Reverby said. "I was the right person in the right place at the right time."

Just gosh darn beautiful

I've been thinking about vampire author Anne Rice's erm... deconversion? if that's the word, from atheist to Catholic to just plain Christian. If not an atheist again. Not quite sure about that last bit. She may have just simply lost her temper in a really bad way saying,

"In the name of Christ, I refuse to be anti-gay. I refuse to be anti-feminist. I refuse to be anti-artificial birth control. I refuse to be anti-Democrat. I refuse to be anti-secular humanism. I refuse to be anti-science. I refuse to be anti-life. In the name of Christ, I quit Christianity and being Christian."

Hmm... like I said, not too sure about her truly shedding the Christian mantle. Gnostics could claim all these things in her above quote. Some Gnostics call themselves Christians while others consider the word to be too ugly and tainted to use anymore as a true descriptive when speaking of spiritual gnosis. The Roman Catholic Church has spawned too many degenerate bastardized subsidiaries to know what's fact from fiction; the whole while claiming to have the patent and apostolic succession to divine grace. No wonder she's confused and pissed off! She may have sworn off the RCC but that does not mean she's an atheist once again.

Anyway, today I was sitting back a while ago and admiring my shelf of first editions from her vampire series (Thank you, hubby! XOXOXO you're the best! he's such an eBay whore. Very useful at times.) and a descriptive phrase from several of her books jumped into my mind.

"The totality of salvation."

Her vampire character, Lestat, uses the phrase several times throughout the series. The first time was, I believe, in Memnoch the Devil and the most recent was Blood Canticle. "The totality of salvation" is Lestat's personal vision of God. All mysteries solved and laid bare. The chaotic ripples and twists of the universe calm under the divine eye of Truth.

I like it. I've adopted it. It is now in my personal library of chosen ways to view the universe in all its complexity.

Statisticians have elegant formulas for supposedly solving 'chance encounters' and 'coincidence' problems but honestly, I can't think of anything more beautiful than this phrase. It rolls off the tongue like pure poetry and settles into the mind like a soothing balm.

The Totality of Salvation.

... even if, though gnosis, we don't really have anything to be saved from but our own inherent human blindness, it's still a beautiful credo.

David Wilcock conference videos

The following is a collection of videos filmed at the 2008 Conscious Life Expo held in Los Angeles, California. It features David Wilcock speaking(after being introduced) talking about expanding consciousness. WELL worth your time!!!! Amazing stuff.

If you wrap up all his ideas in one big ball you'll see that he's dancing around the very concept of gnosis. But he doesn't actually state it. The mathematical geometry he points out is pure poetry. The "coincidences" in collected Vatican art is shocking. We're surrounded by layers of gnostic concepts and it truly boggles the mind how more people have not made the connections to our classical past and the pre-Biblical era. Then again, think about the state of our public school education.... it brings me to tears.

On another note, I think I need to mention that I've been reading more about the Illuminati and their connection to the Vatican. Please bear in mind that the polar opposite of gnosticism is Satanism. (Satanists use the snake-in-Eden metaphor as permission to act like demonic monsters while gnostics see the snake as Kundalini(innate second intelligence/Pleroma) rising to the surface of the mind.) They are contradictory to one another down to their very foundation. Gnosis has nothing to do with Satan!! Gnostics may believe in the greatest amount of freedom being essential to growth, however Satanists do so in a purely maniacal destructive way which is counter-productive to growth. Like the contrasting Stoics with the Epicureans. Black and white. Night and day.

Now use that information to infer exactly WHY we would be seeing all the gnostic symbolism at some place like the Vatican which has persocuted gnostics for nearly two thousand years. The answer is enough to bring any sane person to their knees with grief and horror. We must be wary. We must keep our eyes and ears open. Use logic and when that fails, reach out to Pleroma to feel truth. Just don't be shocked if he says, "It'll be ok." That's his typical response. Why? Because in the grand scheme of the universe it truly will be alright, no matter how this bizarre experiment called Earth ends up. What matters is your growth and life experiences. Burying your head in the sand isn't living.

Part 1:



Part2:
Blog author's comments:
The explanation of K rising(how and why) is magnificent!!! Logical. Graduated steps and compression into forming what is true full consciousness.



Part 3:



Part 4:
Blog Author's Comments:
The explanation of the internal structure of the pineal gland is quite intriguing. Source/Pleroma derived visual images transmitted and interpreted through "Silver Cord." Spot on! The statement of hearing "a cracking noise when having an out of body experience" made me stumble, though. Death. Could it also be a popping noise like what I heard in a recent experience of my own? Interpretive differences perhaps. Not sure.

At 2:02 of the 4th vid he talks about the pressurized "buzz, tone, or acceleration" inside the head when the EM field around the pineal gland is activated. That sounds an awful lot like what it feels like when I "push" matter during hand practice. I feel the pressure sensation in my head first(jaw relaxed for concentration) but the afterglow of effort and washed out energy is felt through the stomach. And he says that it randomly "kicks up" during the day sometimes. Nope!! It's not random. It's Pleroma. He's talking about lay gnosis and he doesn't even realize it. "And it requires a great deal of work." *sigh* Not true. It actually requires more focus to tune Pleroma out. We're so conditioned to doing it as we grow into close-minded adults that it becomes second nature to us.





Part 5:



Part6:

There are four vids after this but these six were most relevant to gnosticism.

Twitch, Nudge, Push, GO!

Had a beautiful experience today. I was in a terrible amount of pain. Drugged up to the gills. Crying I was hurting so badly. White hot agony. Just felt like putting my fist through the wall I was so frustrated with the sudden pain. Felt the urge to lay down and meditate. Holy cow- I was able to!!! And right in front of my husband no less!! I cannot explain to you just how big this is. I felt deep and lasting Source connection, breathing was easy, my body relaxed, and I was able to feel absolute calm. I had to fight for it a few times but I managed to pull myself back from being self-conscious and just letting go.

This was actually the longest I've been able to meditate while using the hand trick. Ever.

During my meditation, my left hand would periodically twitch outward toward my husband. Sometimes I do twitch because of muscle spasms with the FM. But this wasn't that type of muscle spasm. As much as I realized that was a not so subtle hint.... I declined. I was too delirious to pay attention to someone else trying to have a conversation with me(like my husband) besides listening to Pleroma. Ok. I admit it. I was feeling a bit greedy for attention. I wanted to feel better and didn't want to be interrupted in my new found tranquility.

I slept well for about an hour and woke up pain free.

I have resolved to meditate with him tomorrow. Don't know how successful we'll be but I'll try.

Naasene Sermon "The Goatherd"

Strange word, goatherd. Replace it with shepherd and it makes a bit more sense. In any case, the following is a section of a Naasene sermon which is part of the Gnostic Bible collection.

A few weeks ago I was given a koan by Pleroma which I figured out after a few moments of careful consideration but the significance of it has stayed with me since.

The koan was, "Who is at the right hand of god?" Hint: God isn't square. Or even three dimensional with the types of edges and corners you'd expect.

The Greek translated words are in parenthesis.

The Phrygians also call him goatherd(aipolos), not because he feeds goats, as the psychical people call them, but because he is ever turning(aeipolos) and circulating and impressing the whole universe with turning motion. For to turn(polein) is to circulate and alter matters. That is why the two centers of the heaven are called poles. And the poet also said,

"An old man, wave dwelling, frequently comes around here, deathless Proteus, the Egyptian."(Homer, Odyssey 4.384-85. The Greek for "comes" is poleitai.)

Poleitai does not mean that he is sold but that he turns about and goes around. Furthermore, cities(poleis) in which we live are so called because we turn and circulate(poloumen) in them. So the Phrygians call aipolos the one who always turns things in every direction and transfers them to his own domain.

I believe this piece of literature tries to frame in a more visual means what the Book of Thomas declared; that Jesus did not come to placate or soothe but to stir up, agitate, and set fire to the world. The Valentinian "Round Dance of the Cross" is another perfect example of this concept.

NEW 2010 Info On Codex Alimentarius

July 5th, 2010 Codex Commission Meeting Report, Day 1 Part 1




July 5th, 2010 - Part 2



Part 2 and 3


"Forty percent dairy content"??!!! Hell, we drink skim milk now as it is. Might as well dump water on my kid's cereal and tell them that they're going to have to learn to like it.

Day 2, July 6th, 2010 Codex Commission Meeting Report

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5266884912495233634#docid=3273956447915041292

This is a three year old video and I believe it's only half of the full length. If anyone can point the way to this missing later half it would be much appreciated.

We need another uprising. We should have HAD another uprising before Obama put pen to paper. What happened, that's what I would like to know. I am a very health conscious individual and I'd never heard of DSHEA or Codex until a few days ago.

"Forced harmonization," which Ron Paul describes is exactly what it sounds like-- handcuffs. And a lot more fluoride in our water. Or government mandated tranquilizers in our morning cuppa coffee/tea. Oh wait... caffeine is a drug. Hmm.. Would I need a prescription for that? 'cause I really like my Cherry Coke.