Oy vey. I had a truly mind blowing moment today.
Long story short(describing incidents spanning over five hours) my oldest stepson tried to shove silly putty down his younger brother's throat and this younger brother sprayed his silly putty wielding brother in the face with extra strength ammonia Windex.
That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I'd had it with the non-stop bickering and whining over everything imaginable. They were having a truly Bad Day. Now eight and ten year olds don't always make the wisest of decisions. I know this. But I really felt the need to teach them the seriousness of what they tried to do. The youngest boy could have choked to death and the oldest could have had damage to his eyes and needed hospitalization.
My knee-jerk reaction after five hours of their tantrums? "Keep it up and I'll make you write two pages front and back of the Ten Commandments!"
*slaps self* What was I thinking?! Why would I want those two precious kids to be indoctrinated any more than they already are by other well meaning family members during Summer Vacation and other Holidays? After shaking my head a few times at my outlandish statement to the boys I resolved to combine the most meaningful aspects of those Commandments into one statement and yes, the boys wrote two pages front and back. I meant business and was tired of their behavior.
The one sentence I had them write was: "Family members honor, protect, and teach one another."
Afterward, my ten year old thanked me for teaching him a lesson, apologized, and hugged me.
Go on. Do that double take. You know you want to. Read the sentence again. It's true. He actually thanked me for explaining just how dangerous his actions were and letting the punishment for it revolve around honoring, protecting, and teaching one another instead of just spanking him and his brother. The above sentence directly contrasts what his actions were, ergo, he sees just how wrong he was. Is he going to do something similar in the future? Absolutely. And we'll talk about it all over again. Such is childhood.
Is outright teaching gnosis to children advisable? Not really. It can't be taught in your stereotypical Sunday School fashion. The basic outline of the gnostic vision of our world and universe is tricky to teach when mainstream religion dominates the family outside your own home. I haven't been able to do it successfully for this reason. They look at me like I have two heads and regurgitate what is crammed in their heads by their birth-mother. One thing I have to give her credit for- she really teaches with consistency. Hellfire this and damnation that. (And have her "lessons" changed their behavior? No. If anything it has gotten ten times worse. When they come home from visits with her we have to break the kids back in to recognizing the house rules and to act like human beings again instead of animals. The longer they're with her the longer this process takes. Turns the house upside down for a month.)
The last resort is, of course, to teach by example. Let life be a child's own professor. Problems come up every day which are wonderful opportunities for us as parents! Gently guide them to see other options and solutions, not just the easiest one. While you are building additional flexibility in your child's mind by doing these exercises you are, in fact, giving them room to grow and come to gnosis when they are ready as adults and on their own terms.
1 comment:
the article explained a lot for me.i'm 70 and adopted my 8 year old grandaughter.i will continue teaching just to be kind and the golden rule thank you.fred szaban
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