Life Sucks Like A Freshly Unclogged Toilet

Couldn't really think of a different title to this post. My apologies. But it is accurately descriptive of my state of being at the moment, unfortunately.

Lemme go ahead and get the whinefest out of the way then I'll try to weave some sort of gnostic wisdom into this somehow.

Gripe #1: My stepsons have been driving me batshit crazy and I'm tired of fighting with my husband about their behavior; thank the All that they are at their birthmother's the next two weeks. She is trying to virtual-school them for one of those weeks so that she can keep them a week after Spring Break and quite honestly I have to say that as a substitute Learning Coach she sucks! Ugh. I'm watching the boys grades go down the drain.

Granted, it's been funny from our perspective(mine and my husband's) watching this all happen in their gradebook online. We can accurately tell when she's trying to be firm with them and when they're tap dancing all over her head like she's an idiot. I even wrote her a five page Guidebook for heaven's sake, describing in great detail all the stunts they'll try to pull and how to deal with it! Does she call and ask for help? Nope. I offered. And it was sincere. If she called I would honestly put the crackdown on those boys if she asked me to; however then of course Daddy would have some serious questions for them when they came home about why they act like such jerks. .. oh wait. That was last week. And that discussion didn't really lead anywhere. I feel like I'm caught in the Groundhog Day movie.

Gripe #2: discovered my cat is bulimic. Our carpet cleaner has been getting quite a workout lately. Only made the logical diagnosis when I spotted him wolfing down his food then sauntering his fat ass over to the Siamese's bowl, shoving her out of the way, gulping down half her portion, and then walked over to the carpet to hurl it all back up. I swear this cat is just about too damn stupid to live. (And no he doesn't have an allergy to the food.)

So now I have to feed the Siamese in our bedroom and el stupido gordo in the kitchen, effectively locking the two apart from one another until the bowls are empty or they lose interest. Then pick the bowls up. Otherwise, the male speeds his butt on over to her bowl and digs in. Then I have to shoo him away and that's just a sad dramatic story all in itself because he's really a very stubborn cat and this argument of ours tends to get a bit loud. He's not very good at taking no for an answer. My foot on his face and shoving him in the opposite direction is usually how we settle the disagreement. Even then sometimes he has to be the masochist and come running back for some more yelling and foot action on my part. He is seriously demented. Sweet and cuddly. But demented.

The few times my mother has watched him for a couple of days she always drops him off early saying, "that cat is a jackass!" and who am I to disagree? I have literally woken up to his bad cat breath in my face, wondering what the hell he was doing in the house, and then found a Post It note on the inside of my front door saying, "Honey, your cat is a jackass." No joke. She really does this.

And he is a pushy little jackass. I'm sure our neighbors think our cats are starved and beaten. Au contraire. They just have their humans wound around their little kitty paws and oh boy do they know it. I open a can of tuna in this house and the Siamese sounds like a baby who hasn't been fed in a week. I swear, I'd wire her jaws shut if I didn't love that little brat so much. Her name isn't Little Big Mouth for nothing. A pedigreed brat. At least she isn't bulimic. She does have that going in her favor. And she is the absolute best movie critic. The more blood and gore she sees in a movie the harder she switches her tail across my face and chatters at the TV. She loves scary movies.

I'm just really sick of cleaning up orange colored puke stains in the carpet. Why do they have to put so much food dye in animal kibble anyway? Then again, why do we have white carpets in this apartment??

Gripe #3: My fish died yesterday. I really miss him. Beta. Off white with red fins. He was gorgeous. I think he had an albino somewhere in his lineage because at first glance you'd swear he was a female. I bought him because I thought he was a cool looking little cross dresser and anyone else would just plain make fun of him. I wouldn't. I like the misfits and the outcasts. He was a real sweety.

The boys are coming back next Thursday and I honestly don't know how to reconcile myself with that fact. I feel like locking myself in my own closet and reading a book all day just to get away from their attitudes. And anyone who wants to comment, please be aware of this first: yes, the kids know me. I've been in their lives for more than a few years now. No, they don't need 'divorce therapy,' they're just regular kids who will take ten miles if you give them an inch. With ADHD. And lungs. And the ability to turn my hair gray with their reckless shenanigans. Hubby says that if they both keeps this crap up he's going to have to switch to the night shift. (I'm not quite convinced that he doesn't fear I have homicidal tendencies.) Nah. Xanax + iPod. Problem solved. But that doesn't mean my roots don't need constant touch ups from the stress. I'm giving Clairol a lot of my money lately.

If it was legal I'd put them both in a box, turn on a camera, sell tickets to the fight, and let them duke it out like a pair of pissed off chinchillas. I think that sometimes that's just what siblings need- to kick the crap out of eachother and be done with it. That'd be stress relieving for all of us, don't you think? The masses are entertained, money flows in the bank, and the kids end up so tired that they actually don't have the energy to run their mouths and piss anyone off.

About that gnostic wisdom bit I mentioned in the beginning? I just ain't feeling it. The closest I've come to any kind of rational thought the past few days is today when I finished reading Anne Rice's "Vittorio, The Vampire" book. (First edition, ya'll! My first edition collection of Anne Rice's books are my only materialistic vice.)

Page nine of the book contained such a piece of eloquent drama I feel compelled to recount it for you here. Simply magnificent!!

Vittorio is talking about how he may be a blood sucking revenant of a monster but that makes him no less a human being with human feelings with an equally important life story to tell. Then he began reciting a passage from Sheridan Le Fanu's story called "the Familiar."

"Whatever may be my uncertainty as to the authenticity of what we are taught to call revelation, of one fact I am deeply and horribly convinced, that there does exist beyond this a spiritual world-- a system whose workings are generally in mercy hidden from us-- a system which may be, and which is sometimes, partially and terribly revealed. I am sure-- I know... that there is a god-- a dreadful God-- and that retribution follows guilt, in ways most mysterious and stupendous-- by agencies the most inexplicable and terrific; -- that there is a spiritual system-- great God, how I have been convinced!- a system malignant, and inexplicable, and omnipotent, under whose persecutions I am, and have been, suffering the torments of the damned!

Vittorio then begins speaking to his Readers again saying,

"What do you think of that?

I am myself rather mortally struck by it. I don't think I am prepared to speak of our God as "dreadful" or our system as "malignant," but there seems to be an eerie inescapable ring of truth to these words, written in fiction but obviously with much emotion.

It matters to me because I suffer under a terrible curse, quite unique to me, I think, as a vampire. That is, the others don't share it. But I think we all-- human, vampire, all of us who are sentient and can weep-- we all suffer under a curse, the curse that we know more than we can endure, and there is nothing, absolutely nothing, we can do about the force and the lure of this knowledge."

This curse Vittorio bears is indeed unique among vampires: he can see the divine glow of the human Spark in every person on the planet. Vampire, human, doesn't matter. Anyone with a human soul has this gold aura to his eyes.

So as he's killing to feed he has to acknowledge that his actions are slowly snuffing out a spark from the Divine. He literally sees the light dim and then die altogether. That is the unique suffering he must bear. And why? Because he broke a deal with three angels.

The angels agreed to help him physically enter the vampire coven's(this is when he was human still) castle if he himself will do the actual slaying in order to avenge his slaughtered village. The angels cannot kill without divine command so Vittorio has to do the actual killing. The angels fulfill their part of the bargain but Vittorio grows a conscience and backs out when it comes to the last coven member, Ursula, with whom he is unfortunately infatuated.

He argues with the angels saying that if Ursula repents of all her past sins then he will kill her-- IF they swear that her soul will go to Heaven. But the angels cannot say whether or not her soul will go to heaven and because they see his conflict they back away and let Vittorio do what he wants. In the end, Ursula tricks Vittorio into becoming like her and he's so pissed about it that they go on a killing spree but that's not really the point.

The real kick in the pants is that two of the angels Vittorio first sees are the very guardian angels of a painter he adores. And because he happens to glimpse behind the veil of reality and spy on the guardian angel's activities he changes(or does he??) the painter's future. When your guardian angels aren't around and are helping other people what kind of mischief can a person get into?!!

Fra Filippo Lippi ends up kidnapping a nun from a convent, her sister, and then setting up a house with all three of them! His vice was women and without his guardian angels to steer him clear of temptations he apparently said to hell with it and royally screwed the pooch. The town wanted to lynch him.

A whispering came to Vittorio's ear, "One might wonder where were his guardian angels on the day that Fra Filippo did such a mad thing?"

Vittorio whirls around and sees no one.

Finally, after much running about he is allowed to see all the angels he brokered a deal with. As a vampire he could not understand why he could still see them. They explained his newly(and uniquely) damned status: he would forevermore see angels when he viewed Fra Lippi's paintings and he would always see the bright divine spark of God within humans to remind him of his bad decision to linger on earth longer than a human should have a right.

Technically, he was tricked, right? But he wouldn't kill Ursula unless she was repentant and she wasn't so..... he's just plain out of luck.

A few points of interest I found particularly intriguing was that Vittorio mentions it's not just Fra Lippi's paintings which take on a lifelike quality when he views them; his son, Filipino's paintings of angels are quickened in his presence as well.

The two angels who first attract Vittorio's attention are portrayed in Fra Lippi's "Annunciation" series of paintings. I managed to find one of the angels. He talks about the one with 'peacock feathers in his wings.' I have not been so lucky to see the second angel.



Vittorio's parting words to his Readers :

"Gold. that is what I see when I look at you.

That is what I see when I look at any man, woman, and child.

I see the flaming celestial gold that Mastema revealed to me. I see it surrounding you, and holding you, encasing you and dancing with you, though you yourself may not behold it, or even care.

From this tower tonight in Tuscany, I look out over the land, and far away, deep in the valleys, I see the gold of human beings, I see the glowing vitality of beating souls."

..... "I am not saying I am a great painter. I am not such a fool. But I say that out of my pain, out of my folly, out of my passion there comes a vision-- a vision which I carry with me eternally and which I offer to you.

It is a vision of every human being, bursting with fire and mystery, a vision I cannot deny, nor blot out, nor ever turn away from, nor ever belittle nor ever escape.

Others write of doubt and darkness.

Others write of meaninglessness and quiet.

I write of indefinable and celestial gold that will forever burn bright.

I write of blood thirst that is never satisfied. I write of knowledge and its price.

Behold, I tell you, the light is there in you. I see it. I see it in each and every one of us, and will always. I see it when I hunger, when I struggle, when I slaughter. I see it sputter and die in my arms when I drink.

Can you imagine what it would be like for me to kill you?

Pray it never takes a slaughter or a rape for you to see this light in those around you. God forbid that it should demand such a price. Let me pay the price for you instead."

Vittorio may be a fictional vampiric martyr but I think there is a lesson to be learned in this poetic bit of prose: Anne Rice is a closet gnostic. And she, like all of us, is perpetually 'under construction.'

Chemtrails- personal home vids!!

This footage was filmed in Lakeland, Florida at 4:45 pm on 12/29/10. I opened my front door and looked up into the sky. There they were, plain as day.

This set of videos are shown in chronological order. I had to shoot in several segments(eight, actually) because I was walking around down the street trying to find the best angles with the sun where it was at that time of day.

I wanted to splice together all the vids but haven't had such great luck in the tech department with it. Just watch the vids from top to bottom and you'll see it as it's meant to be seen.

There are a total of eight vids but I'm only listing the more vivid ones here. Check out GU's YouTube channel to see the rest. www.youtube.com/user/GnosticUnrest

These were shot right outside my front door.





These next two videos were filmed an hour later, driving into town on Highway 98North at 5:45pm.

When you hear me say, "remember Key West?" in the vid right at the end, I am referring to the same type of aerial spraying done around the time my father was stationed at the Naval base there. The huskier voiced woman you hear me talking to is my mother. As you heard, even she could immediately tell there was something unnatural about them. She pointed out the difference between contrails, "mare's tails," and this mystery soup stuff up there in a grid-like pattern.

The reference to Key West goes thus: in the 1980's the story leaked out that the military planes were doing what they called "population mobility experiments" in relation to sickness and evacuation or trends in movement. When you're attempting to study what people will do in a bad situation- do it on an island. People who have limited escape routes will automatically panic the worst. Pandemic studies, they're called. My mother saw and experienced them first hand. According to her, they never did 'fess up to what was in the stuff that was sprayed but only stated that it was 'viral' in nature.



In this next vid you can see the sheer size of these chemical tracks in the sky when driving in a moving vehicle and when compared to buildings. Very sharp footage. There are literally NO OTHER CLOUDS in the sky except for these chemtrails!!



I have noticed an interesting trend about chemtrails just in my own local experience-- right around two days after chemtrails appear, it rains. Hard. Like, a gushing downpour of kitties and puppies from the sky. Anyone else notice this or have experience with it? Very odd this time of year, even for Florida.

Democracy vs. Egyptian Pharaoh

Like a lot of you, I have been watching the news concerning affairs in Egypt the past few weeks. Found some enlightening pictures online, too!

Today in an article: Asked about U.S. President Barack Obama's counsel for him to leave office swiftly, Mubarak said he told him, "You don't understand the Egyptian culture and what would happen if I step down now."

Yeah, buddy. I know what you mean. All those youngsters today below the age of THIRTY! What the hell do they know about what's good for them? They see the world going to shit all around them and lo and behold- on YouTube and Facebook there are concepts totally unheard of in their hometowns. Of course they're jealous.

They see us enjoying the ability to kiss whomever we want without sharia law prompting acid being thrown in your face. Or Googling(I hate the fact that this word is now a verb) information on anything from illegal whaling practices to Justin Bieber. (ACK. I can't believe I just wrote that.)(The last part. 'Cause he's just kinda weird looking with the whole 'I just got swirlied' hairdo.)

In any case, Egyptians are pissed. Jealous mad pissed and they have a right to be. Thirty years is too long to have one guy looking down his hairy nose at you. The people have spoken: with Molotov cocktails no less. And spray paint. And when the spray paint and alcohol ran out they resorted to throwing sticks and stones. They haven't let up yet and to them I tip my hat. They deserve the right to choose their representatives.

These pics were priceless, although the political implications in a few of them did leave me asking quite a few questions and none of them good.

Very cute. I can totally see the resemblance!

As opposed to Argentina or some other South American country hide-away? hmm....

Catch that sign in the far right? It's about our beloved White House couple. Here's the sign blown up a bit bigger:

"Game over Hillary. Obama stop supporting Tyranny." Or is that Tyrants? Kinda fuzzy. But the effect is the same.

It's not the message on the signs that have me worried it's the number of pictures I saw with Muslim women looking awfully pissed off in their hijab. I think we should be very concerned with the power vacuum when Pharaoh leaves office.

I'm sensing that Egypt is going to become the new South Vietnam.

Ground Zero Mosque

I regularly receive updates from the Judicial Watch legal organization. I've copied/pasted below the email notification I received just today. The links in my email worked perfectly. Why Blogger isn't accepting them is a mystery at this current time. I've edited and edited the html and it's just not working. Here is a direct link to the Judicial Watch update directly from their site. The links work there. I've tested them.

Judicial Watch doesn't just 'watch.' They actually file lawsuits against various branches of the US Government to obtain information about hidden actions in order to get the truth out. The fact that our representatives state that asking questions is "un-American" scares the hell out of me.


From the Desk of Judicial Watch President Tom Fitton:

Mayor Bloomberg’s Office Spearheaded Drive for

Ground Zero Mosque, New Docs Show

On July 2010, Mayor Bloomberg outrageously told reporters it was “un-American” to investigate the individuals behind the Ground Zero Mosque. Now we know why he wanted no one to look into the controversy.

Judicial Watch just obtained a new batch of documents from New York City Mayor Bloomberg’s office that show his office was instrumental in helping radical anti-American Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, his wife Daisy Khan and their partner Sharif el-Gamal obtain approval for a 13-story massive mosque and “community center” to be built in the shadow of Ground Zero, the site of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

These documents, which we obtained through open records requests and a related lawsuit, earned widespread press coverage in New York and around the country. (Here’s the New York Observer’s take to give just one example.) They included email correspondence between top officials inside the Mayor’s office and supporters of the Ground Zero Mosque, a project spearheaded by the Rauf-led Cordoba Initiative. The documents were made available to us on December 23. This unseemly Christmas dump is a well-known ploy by politicians to use the holidays to release bad news in the hopes that it will go unnoticed. (It didn’t work this time.)

Here are some of the documents’ key highlights:

• A May 10, 2010, email from Daisy Khan, listed as Executive Director of the American Society for Muslim Advancement, to Fatima Shama, Commissioner of the Mayor’s Office of Immigrant Affairs: “Is there a good time to chat tomorrow. We need some guidance on how to tackle the opposition.”
• A letter supporting the Ground Zero Mosque drafted by Nazi Parvizi, Commissioner of the Mayor’s Community Affairs Unit, to Julie Menin, Chairman of Manhattan’s Community Board 1, which had considered a resolution supporting the mosque. Parvizi crafted the letter for Daisy Khan’s signature, asking the board to temporarily withdraw the mosque resolution due to public outrage over the project. Parvizi described the purpose of the letter in a May 15, 2010, email: “What the letter will do, I hope, is get the media’s attention off everyone’s backs and give you guys time to regroup on your strategy as discussed…”
• A legal review of the Menin letter sent to the Mayor’s office by Rauf on May 15, 2010. The letter contemplates the impact that withdrawing the Community Board 1 resolution could have on the effort to de-designate the mosque site as a historical landmark at a June 22, 2010, Landmark Commission meeting, thus allowing the project to move forward:

  The Borough President (and Councilmember Chin) have a firm policy at speaking up at public agencies only after the community board has taken a position on an item. So withdrawing the resolution may affect their thinking about how helpful they can be on June 22. That in itself may not be fatal to getting [the site] de-designated but I do know that [Landmark Commission] Chairman Tierney was looking forward to having the "political cover" their support would bring him.

  The Landmark Commission ultimately decided to de-designate the property.

• A May 7, 2010, congratulations email from Shama to Rauf, Khan and el-Gamal after the Community Board 1 finance subcommittee expressed support for the Ground Zero Mosque project: “Again-congratulations!!! This is very exciting for all of you and the community at large! Daisy, as always – you were AMAZING last night – thank you!”
• A May 7, 2010, email from Khan to Rauf, el-Gamal and Shama after the finance subcommittee vote: “Just spoke with Commissioner Nazli Parvizi. She will call Julie Mennon [sic] to thank them for passing the resolution and ask how she can assist.”
• A January 2010 email exchange documenting Shama’s successful attempt to expedite a temporary public assembly permit so supporters of the Ground Zero Mosque could conduct prayers at the site.
• A series of email exchanges regarding a September 18, 2009, meeting between Shama, Rauf, el-Gamal, Khan and others from the Ground Zero Mosque project. A September 22, 2009, follow-up email summarized the meeting: “It was wonderful to be with everyone…on Friday night…Fatima mentioned that there are a number of concrete next steps that need to be undertaken re: the Cordoba House. In terms of a point person and centralized contact, please advise Fatima as to whom she should be in direct contact with on these and all other Cordoba House matters moving forward.”
• An April 22, 2010, email from Khan to Shama asking Shama to sign a letter of support for the Ground Zero Mosque project. “We have been honored to have developed a relationship with you over the last years…we consider you amongst our closest allies and friends.” The email included a draft letter for Shama to sign.

On August 9, 2010, Judicial Watch filed Freedom of Information Law (FOIL) requests with the Mayor’s office, seeking contacts between city officials and Rauf and controversial Muslim organizations. (Click here to review my post from a few weeks ago that highlighted some of the sordid details about these so-called “mainstream” Muslim organizations.)

After we received no response from Mayor Bloomberg’s office to our request and a subsequent administrative appeal, we filed a lawsuit in the New York State Supreme Court on November 4, 2010 to compel the Mayor’s office to comply with the open records requests. Our petition apparently got their attention.

Now there is no doubt. Mayor Bloomberg’s office was working hand-in-glove with the Muslim activists driving the unpopular Ground Zero mosque project. Now we know what the Mayor was trying to hide and why his office did not bother to comply with the Freedom of Information Law. But it shouldn’t have taken a lawsuit to get the details. New Yorkers want honesty and transparency from their Mayor, not obfuscation. They deserve to know the truth about this mosque.

And just to give you a sense of the close “allies and friends” of Mayor Bloomberg’s staff…

Feisal Abdul Rauf is well known for making a number of radical and controversial statements regarding Islamic extremism, particularly the terrorist attacks of 9/11. For example, during a 60 Minutes interview about the 9/11 terrorist attacks, Rauf said: “I wouldn’t say that the United States deserved what happened. But the United States’ policies were an accessory to the crime that happened…we have been an accessory to a lot of innocent lives dying in the world. In fact, in the most direct sense, Osama bin Laden is made in the USA.”

Now Rauf wants to build a Muslim complex adjacent to the spot where Muslim radicals murdered 3,000 innocents. And thanks to Mayor Bloomberg and his staff, it looks like he may get his wish.

New Year's Resolutions

I decided that I'm going to have to suck it up and actually make some resolutions I'll stick to this year. "Only things which serve a clear purpose which I cannot talk myself out of." ... 'cause, you know, I think we're all pretty darn good at talking ourselves out of, well, anything. So my focus will be to become more strict with how I rationalize actions. Or inaction. That's just as dangerous.

My stepsons have been gone for around two weeks now for Winter Break at their birthmother's and lemme tell ya, I have lived in my pj's and fluffy house robe the majority of the time. It's so nice not to feel the push to get out of bed, organize someone's day for them, and then run around behind them making sure they actually fulfill their end of the bargain.

1. I will organize, expand upon, and POST the fifty million drafted blog posts which are clogging up this account. You think I'm kidding about the number?! I'm not. I write and write and write.... and never click Post. Can't figure this out. But I need to. I think that January will be a busy month, indeed, in this regard.
2. I have not been taking the time to really take care of my own intellectual/education needs and desires. I must make the time to read more and write more about what I read.
3. The boys have been in virtual school this year and I just cannot take the stress any longer. It started out being an experimental type thing and has ended up swallowing all of my brain cells. Emotionally, I am dead tired. I'm tired of the endless fighting over who's talking when they shouldn't be, who's slacking off and for how long, and the incessant aggravation of changing school curriculum and teachers. The virtual school just can't seem to keep the same teachers for these kids. What the deal is, I haven't a clue. But I'm just plain tired of it. So my third resolution is: Let the kids fall on their faces if that is their wish. No more begging. No more pleading. I am practicing laissez-faire from here on in concerning their virtual school work unless it is a Science project or other Portfolio. They're on their own. It's not that I don't care. Because I do. But I'm not holding their freaking hand anymore. It's ridiculous. The more I spoon-feed them the more miserable they make me and that's not exactly fair. They want my attention then they can get it-- AFTER school is done for the day. They spend more time talking than doing. They don't disrespect their teachers at "brick and mortar" this way. And yet they feel like it's perfectly acceptable to do this to me. And come to find out, the eldest son's teacher used to put him out in the hall for talking too much and disturbing others around him.(He talks to himself. Cannot read or solve a problem quietly to save his life.) I only find this out when last year's schooling is done and gone. Funny. So I started doing the same thing, making him go out into the hallway for 5 minutes. Then 10. Then 15. Works like a charm. If he's away from his books then he realizes that he's losing free time because he is out in the hall. And the younger son? Ugh. I don't even want to talk about it. He just plain pushes my buttons to push my buttons. He wants attention- fine. But with the way he acts he ends up getting negative attention. I don't understand his logic. And until he breaks his brain out of that cycle there's not a damn thing I can do with him.
   
4. Work on my relationship with my husband. Concentrate less on the kids and more on the husband. The logic then goes that by transferring more of my attention to my husband, he will then have to focus more on the kids, thus relieving me of more stress than I can handle. I think that works out pretty well.
   

Hubby wont put them back in "brick and mortar" school and so thinks that I should sit at the house and suffer. Nope. I've made up my mind. I'm not suffering anymore. I am getting caught up on my reading, article posting, and cleaning those drawers and closets which have been giving me the hairy eyeball for a few weeks now. The kids can do whatever they want; procrastinate until the cows come home! Even if that means they're up until nine o'clock at night still doing their schoolwork. Not my problem. Them doing schoolwork that late does not hinder my ability to cook dinner or anything else so.... oh well. Sucks to be them.

The theme to my year's resolutions seem to be getting away from micromanaging other people's lives so that I can, in fact, have one of my own.

Book Review

The Nature of the Psyche: Its Human Expression
A Seth Book by: Jane Roberts

This is such a meaty book it's taken me over three weeks to finish. I kept having to put it away and take a break from it because it is so condensed. I'll be talking about it in depth further in small doses here and there as the subject matter pertains to opinions or experiences I have.

The astral personality, "Seth" has written quite a few books over the past thirty-something years. I read "Seth Speaks" around ten years ago and was nudged by Pleroma to find the book again very recently. Upon researching the first book I was flabbergasted to discover just how many more books Jane Roberts has published since.

Yes, I know I am quoting nearly entire pages at a time. Unfortunately, Seth is very ... choosy.. with his wording and specific. Such a large amount of information is crammed into paragraphs that this is the only way for you, the reader, to understand what I'm commenting on.

Page 41

"The [human] species has built into it all the knowledge, information, and "data" that it can possibly need under any and all conditions. This heritage must be triggered psychically, however, as a physical mechanism such as a muscle is triggered through desire or intent.

This does not mean that you learn what in larger terms you already know; as for example, if you learned a skill. Without the triggered desire, the skill would not be developed; but even when you do learn a skill, you use it in your own unique way. Still, the knowledge of mathematics and the arts is as much within you as your genes are within you. You usually believe that all such information must come from outside of your self, however. Certainly, mathematical formulas are not imprinted in the brain, yet they are inherent in the structure of the brain and implied within its existence. Your own focus determines the information that is available to you."

page 42

"This does not mean that any person, spontaneously, with no instruction, can suddenly become a great artist or writer or scientist. It does mean, however, that the species possesses within itself those inclinations which will flower. It means also that you are limiting the range of your knowledge by not taking advantage of such methods. It does not mean that in your terms all knowledge already exists, either, for knowledge automatically becomes individualized as you receive it, and hence, new.

Your desire automatically attracts the kind of information you require, though you may or may not be aware of it.

If you are gifted, and want to be a musician, for example, then you may literally learn while you are asleep, tuning in to the world view of other musicians, both alive and dead in your terms. When you are awake, you will receive inner hints, nudges or inspirations. You may still need to practice, but your practice will be largely in joy, and will not take as long as it might take others. The reception of such information facilitates skill, and operates basically outside of time's sequences.

......"It seems almost heresy to suppose that such knowledge is available, for then what use is education? Yet education should serve to introduce a student to as many fields of endeavor as possible, so that he or she might recognize those that serve as natural triggers, opening skills or furthering development. The student will, then, pick and choose."

**************************

Seth then goes on to briefly discuss categories of knowledge and traditions which allowed individuals to set aside accepted modes of perception to delve into other realms of knowledge. The problem then becomes language. This 'innate' genetic knowledge needs a way to be expressed.

I think that this is the real problem gnostics face and why our past expressions(Nag Hammadi codices, for example) have sided more with romantic verse than normal conversational language. Our 'mind perspective' has become so vastly expanded that our native tongue stumbles. We fumble around, looking for a more perfect word to describe 'immense' and 'forever,' meanwhile information is pouring into, not only our minds, but our hearts. Unspeakable and ineffable are two words which are repeated throughout gnostic texts and for very good reason.

Change is profound. How we deal with this is what makes our journey so unique. Do we stay in rigid dogmatic modes of thought and expression and only rely on those visualizations to express ourselves? Or do we throw caution to the wind and let our mind wander freely?

Seth says, "This heritage must be triggered psychically," and if I had read this book more than two years ago I'd have really been stumped as to what this means. Triggered as in 'decided upon' or triggered as in 'tripped over'? As a lay gnostic this "triggering" mechanism he speaks of means something quite simple and yet profound at the same time to me: connection.

This connection with Pleroma/The All/Source, etc, is like a torrential flood of love and information when activated. How or when does it occur? Awake or asleep, it can occur. We make life altering decisions in our sleep quite often but don't remember it.

We hold ourselves back because we're so utterly terrified of being alone. That is why the contrasting emotions from Pleroma feel so delusional at times. So when that conscious choice is made to (re)connect it seems as though we're bit out of our heads at first. Hence, the honeymoon period. Euphoria. Absolute euphoria. Like being wrapped in the softest, warmest blanket and cuddled.

Small nudges here and there. Turning left instead of right. Not speaking when we normally would have before. Sensing the larger cause and that patience is not just a virtue of some Romantic era but the natural way to function appropriately for your own personal growth. Feeling that, even though the world's gone mad, "everything will be alright" actually makes sense although we don't know why.

Something to ponder: maybe this is why Socrates had more fun listening than talking.

Cringe-Worthy News

I cannot, absolutely cannot, believe I am writing this blog post. I cannot believe that the legal system in my country resorts to the kind of twisted entrapment just to get a pervert off the streets.

Looking up the actual legal definition for "entrapment" leads me to believe that it's not so much a standard case of entrapment, but still a legal nightmare nonetheless. I happen to live close to where this pedophile will(eventually) be jailed and I cannot believe I am defending any part of his case but that's just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes. My comments are below the short article, attention given to red text.

Pedophile's Guide author locked up in Polk County Jail

Bartow, Channel 13 News. Article last updated: Tuesday, December 21, 2010 1:15 PM

Polk County Sheriff's Office detectives are in Colorado making an arrest for violation of obscenity laws.

According to Polk Sheriff Grady Judd, the sheriff's office, along with authorities in Pueblo, Colo., have arrested Phillip R. Greaves II, the author of the book "The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure: A Child-Lover's Code of Conduct."

Greaves was arrested on charges of distribution of obscene material depicting minors engaged in harmful conduct, which is a third-degree felony.

Judd said Internet Crimes Division detectives who were investigating the case researched the book and inquired about receiving a copy. Judd detectives paid $50 and Greaves sent the book to an address in Lakeland, which violated state obscenity laws and led to the arrest. Judd said Greaves even signed the book he sent.

Investigators said the book contained graphic stories describing sex acts involving adults and minors.

Officials requested a warrant and made an arrest Monday. Greaves has no other connection to Florida.

Judd said Greaves could be extradited to Polk County as soon as today. Even if Greaves were to fight extradition, Judd said he likely would be brought to Polk County within 30-60 days.

Amazon pulled the book off its website earlier this year after an online boycott against the book led by a Lakeland woman.

"He wrote this book specifically to teach people how to molest and rape children,'' Judd said. "You cannot engage in or depict children in a harmful light.

"There may be nothing the other 49 states can do but there is something Florida can do. We can prosecute (Phillip Greaves) for this manifesto.''

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So, Colorado detectives had the author send the paid-for book to an address in Florida, thereby breaking the law. Because Florida is the only one of fifty freaking states which has obscenity laws?!!

I'm not condoning pedophilia. I am in no way supporting this bastard's sick book. But I am opposed to someone in law enforcement requesting an author ship out their book to a place in order to take advantage of the law there. What, was the book for a "friend" in Florida? A Christmas gift, perhaps?

Ugh. It just sickens me. It sickens me on so many levels that it's all just a big mushy mess in my head. There's right and there's wrong. Their are shades of gray. Then there are those tricky little legal scenarios which make mutter to yourself, "Wow, wonder how that's going to turn out?"

It's like with the whole Wikileaks deal going on now. The guy leaks tons of classified military documents on wars and actions taken by governments and you've got half the people commenting on how heinous a thing it is for Assange to do what he does and the other half screaming about what a saint he is. Then when new leaked reports about certain American pharmaceutical company's criminal testing activities are brought forward and discussed, all of a sudden everyone swings over to Assange's side in vilifying the US government and the FDA. Oh come on now. What happened to all that patriotism?

When it involves killing people in wars it's ok with half of the population because, let's face it, there are a lot of veterans and relatives of veterans who have strong feelings. But when it comes to our household medicine cabinet then that hits a little too close to home for comfort.

Conclusion: "patriotism" is just a PR tactic to divide and control populations. I think the only loyalties we should have is to one another as part of the human race. And in order to be true "patriots" for ourselves and others that means doing the difficult thing, even if it means giving up our own comforts. Unselfish behavior is so rarely seen today that we have difficulty quantifying it let alone understanding it when it is a pure thing.

Christmas

Hmm.. Haven't thought about this a lot actually, even with the Holiday itself only a few weeks away. Hubby and I don't have any real religious traditions. His ex-wife has the tree and all that paraphernalia.

I personally loathe the holidays because of the commercialism behind it. When more than three of your friends/family resort to buying gift cards for everyone else, you know the religious spirit behind it is utterly and completely dead. I just can't get with it anymore. As a kid I loved it. But now? I am thirty years old and I DON'T EVEN OWN A CHRISTMAS TREE!! No joke. Not even a little bitty one.

I do not own one decoration which should go on a tree. I do not even own a wreath. As I write this I feel like I should be sad about it but somehow I just can't. I think I've become more ascetic as the years pass. I could fit every single one of my possessions in two large trunks. (Besides the pots and pans, of course.)

But the two stepsons are big into the holidays so I let them draw and create some decorations today. Some of it was pretty darn neat! I created some mazes for them and after they solved them, they decided to take colored pencils and crayons to them, shading them in like mandalas and big shiny Christmas tree balls. They're taped on a wall near a table which serves as the place where wrapped presents reside until The Big Day. If the kids would like to continue decorating then so be it. Let them express their childhood emotions about the holiday. I even dug up a few jars of glitter paint for them to get happy with.

I don't know. I just feel more alive during the summer, I guess. Winter makes me want to curl up with a good book and have my two kitties snuggled beside me.

Zeitgeist?

I heard this word at the end of a rather... bloody... dream I had last evening.

The dream images were so disturbing I really don't feel like I can write about it. I want to scrub my brain with bleach.

Anyone have any ideas on the relevance of this particular word right now in the news?

Definition:

–noun, German .

the spirit of the time; general trend of thought or feeling characteristic of a particular period of time.

Somebody finally sued TSA for unlawful groping!

In the "search and seizure" aspect of this case..... what did the TSA seize, exactly? Was it his testicles? Does he want them back?

I joke about this but on a serious note: good for him! And good for us. Because somebody needs to tell Uncle Sam that it's not ok to touch our no-no's, let alone look at them through a "low level" radiation view finder toy.

Arkansas Man Sues Over Enhanced TSA Screenings

Tuesday, November 23 2010

(Little Rock, AR) -- Airports across the country are bracing for possible protests at security checkpoints Wednesday.

It's all surrounding the body-imaging machines that are now being used. And right now a Little Rock man is going to court over it, saying the technology violates passenger constitutional rights.

As travelers come in and out of Little Rock National Airport, they won't come across a body-imaging machine.

There are over 450 airports in the U.S., only 69 have the approximately 400 body-imaging scanners. Little Rock National Airport isn't one of them.

Robert Dean says it doesn't matter. After going through one in Chicago a few weeks ago, he's asking the federal court in Little Rock to step in.

"Filing for an injunction will stop these types of invasive measures until we can get a ruling on the constitutionality of this," Dean says.

He's talking about the enhanced pat downs too. According to the TSA, less than 3% of travelers actually undergo the more invasive security check.

But airports are bracing for passengers to opt out of the body-imaging scanners Wednesday, leading to enhanced pat downs. Dean says he doesn't like the new security measures but hopes protests do not occur.

"Peaceful demonstrations and non-violent protest have their purpose but I'm not sure this is the time and place to do this when we have legal means in which to address this through a court system," Dean says.

Dean's lawsuit claims the new security measures violate his civil rights and his 4th amendment right protecting against unlawful search and seizure. He added the current metal detectors system is sufficient because the new enhanced measures wouldn't have stopped the attempted underwear bomber last Christmas Day because the flight originated overseas.