Fog and Coughs and Looky Looky!

I think that 'fog' in the wee morning hours in an hourly weather report is code for 'they're spraying the shit out of you' in Chemtrail-ese.

The past few times there's been 'fog' in the forecast I've woken up to hacking and coughing and lots of itching on my arms and upper body. Yesterday I didn't even send the boys outside to play it was so bad.

Then, today at 8:10am I took these photos just right outside my front door. Literally, I walked out my front door and looked up. Please note, I made these pictures extra-large so you could see them well without having to click on them. I know they run over into the right-hand column.

I know how this chemical sludge makes my body feel when it's drizzling down from that height and lemme tell ya-- it's not good! It's not a warm fuzzy feeling. It's an agitated, itchy, coughing miserable feeling. I'm going to be drinking pots of nettle and turmeric tea AGAIN today. Worse, I HAVE to go grocery shopping today. Can't get around it.

On a happier note, my cat's not dead. I thought she was yesterday. No. She was just snoozing. It really looked like her neck was broken. She had her mouth open and her eyes were glazed. Damn. Must've been some catnap!

Fighting Fluorosis One Comment At A Time

Here's an article to a local newspaper talking about their ... fluoride problem... This hits too close to home. I had to get involved.

I've been busy this morning combating the loonies.

I have a personal stake in this, damn it! Since moving back down to Florida my teeth have been RUINED!! I can trace it back directly to our tap water. So can my dentist. I have proof in my X-Rays and in his examination notes. Also, of course, when I look in the mirror.

Here's some food for thought.

http://poisonfluoride.com/pfpc/html/thyroid_history.html

Every nasty study done on fluoride since 1854. Well, probably not every study. But there's a ton of them listed here(including international studies) for you to peruse and learn about just how corrupt the FDA is. They're only now in the past few years beginning to bend their stance on fluoride because cities have ripped out the tanks themselves after learning the truth. If we don't do it ourselves the government won't. It's not in their best interest. Fluoride is like a slow drip of Xanax for us every single day. Apathy? Yup. And that's just how they like us.

It's only a matter of time before all the major cities revolt on this issue. It'll happen. I just wish it'd happen here in my own city a lot sooner. I can't afford a $500 water filtration system to get rid of this poison in my water. If you pick up any bottled water(or bottled water product like soda/tea, etc)on the shelves today it's fluoridated unless it states otherwise. Good luck finding them. I certainly can't.

Too damned bummed to write. But here I am.

Yeah, I know. How many months has it been?? My cat went blind, the kids left for summer break up to their birthmother's place, I began to enjoy summer break, and ... I lost the will to write entirely. My heart just felt like it died.

Can't really explain what happened, but Merry, I finally answered your comments! When I logged in to Blogger today it was really backed up. That's how depressed I was. I hadn't logged in for months. Sorry, guys. But I did finally get caught up today with replying to comments.

I think I'm in a funk for a number of reasons. My kids are growing up and needing me less, I'm trying to do more around the house and burning myself out, I don't have time for myself,..... Christmas is coming up and my project plans aren't looking like they're going to come together. I'm just stressed I guess.

Let's see what I have planned for tomorrow... I have to go up to the store and buy a bulk box(5 dozen) of eggs, have to come home and spend three+ hours pickling them because my two pubescent sons are eating us out of house and home and we decided to give them free reign on the eggs any time they want. They just finished up the last jar TODAY. So I have to make some more. Jesus. They eat like grown men.

I also have to shave one of the cats, shampoo, and do a vinegar dip. Finish doing the diatomaceous earth application to the carpets which didn't get finished today because a certain little boy neglected to vacuum the living room like he was supposed to, and then I've got to work some more on a painting my sister wants for Christmas. Turpentine gave me a migraine last time so hopefully it'll be cool tomorrow so I can open the house up. I don't know if it's going to happen or not. We'll see.

At least all the laundry got done yesterday and today. That's a load off my back.

All this with fibromyalgia, chronic migraines and back pain, whiplash, and a few other things. I just... damn it. I'm just really fucking tired.

I don't want to end this post with that negativity so I'll tell you something a bit funny and quirky. Did you know that cats like eating stinging nettles? Herb/weed, whatever you wanna call it, this plant is pretty amazing. I've started drinking a few gulps of the tea a few times a day to help with some symptoms I have. Well, I saw a video a while back of cat chowing down on a plate of cooked steaming nettles and thought, holy cow! I gotta look into this stuff! Too weird, ya know? My big tuxedo, Killer Kitty, LOVES grass but is now allergic to it. So he grazes on stray carpet fibers and it upsets him even more. Doofus. Ok, so this Kitty Momma had to be smarter than him, obviously, to get him what he needed, which was fiber.

He likes eating half a raw egg(he shares it with Big Mouth) three times a week already. LOVES it. I mean, he begs for it. He knows what it sounds like when I open the egg carton and rams into my ankles to get me to drop it on the floor. Brat. Anyway, I thought that egg would be the perfect cover for me to slip in a few more goodies to bulk up the vitamin content of those meals.

So in a little ramekin(fancy word for an itty bitty souffle dish)  I mixed the following: a few tablespoons of boiling water, one teaspoon of dried stinging nettles, one teaspoon of milled flax seed, and a pinch of turmeric spice. Mixed it up, covered it, and let it turn into sludge. After about five minutes I halved it and mixed it into the cat's dry food really well and then put their raw egg portion on top.

Worked like a charm! They both ate it up.

Just goes to show- cats will eat almost any vegetable if you use a bit of trickery and patience. Big Mouth will eat tomatoes and lettuce out of my husband's hand. And she's doing a lot better, by the way. She rarely gets herself caught behind doors and into other kinds of trouble now; she's coping well with losing her sight.

Now I'm anxious to grow some stinging nettle from pots next year. I want fresh tisane, not have to constantly buy the 'tea' bags of herb. With as much as they're spraying overhead though I don't know how that's going to be safely possible. I don't want chemicals on my herbs.

And just because I love lolcats...

 

On Blindness and Kindness

My seventeen year old Siamese, Little Big Mouth, is blind as of a week ago.

On this topic of blindness and kindness today I'd like to reach out to those people who maybe have a pet who is facing the same situation or maybe they're even thinking of adopting a blind pet and not sure of what they're in for. I'd like to tell you first hand. 

It happened slowly the first few months; we thought maybe she was just getting a little senile. Then five days ago she suddenly became almost mute overnight. For an excitable and verbose cat like her this was alarming. She began pacing the house, round and round the perimeter, using the walls as her guide. Not eating as much. Then clingy as all get out. Wouldn't leave my side or my husband's. If she wasn't laying on us or next to us with her body pressed to ours she was busy pacing. We also noticed that her pupils were not decreasing in size like they used to in different lighting. She has the most beautiful blue eyes but now you can barely see any blue at all, just black pupil.

Today we finally took her to the vet because she was pacing beside a particular wall with her face pressed against it and wouldn't leave it alone. Then I watched her nearly fall head first off my son's bed. The vet confirmed the blindness and called it SARDS(Sudden Acquired Retinal Degeneration Syndrome) Thankfully, he confirmed that she still had her hearing. So all those exasperated calls to her from us to get her moving in our direction that she ignored was really just her being a cat and not a sign of hearing loss. That was good news! She still has all her other senses.

Many people in our situation would have put their cat to sleep. They would think that having a visually impaired pet would be too difficult to deal with. We've learned a lot about ourselves as a family and her as a family member these past few days and one thing I can definitively say for sure is that having a suddenly impaired pet is difficult! It's heart wrenching. It's prone to make you burst into tears at the slightest provocation, especially while watching them struggle over something which used to be second nature to them. This is a member of your family who suddenly discovers that a big part of their world is gone to them forever. They are going to be depressed. YOU are going to be depressed. This change in their abilities requires quite a bit of patience and attention from the humans in their life. They can't do it all on their own and some things do have to change in the house for them to be safer. This takes time to learn as well as trial and error.

Animals are able to adapt more quickly to losing a sense than humans. I implore you to give the animal a chance to prove it to themselves and for them to have the opportunity to exhibit their instincts to you before you lose hope for their future. Don't give up on them. They have the same interest in their own happiness as you do for yourself and want to be as self sufficient as possible. This is really embarrassing for them to have to relearn certain things.  Trust me when I say that they do feel embarrassment and shame, and a great deal of fear at least in the beginning. But they'll find a way to be self sufficient and they'll surprise you when they do!! They learn so fast.

Watching this particular family member of ours adapt to her new situation has been an awe inspiring spectacle. I wish I could tell you all the little things I've seen her do the past few days that made me cheer for her. I can think of a dozen things from just this morning alone, but then this post would be a mile long and I don't think anyone has the patience for that. I'll just highlight a few and tell you what we've learned so far.

Her clingy behavior from a few days ago was due to total petrification on her part. She was literally too scared to move from the security of where she knew where she was to an open void which would swallow her up in her mind.

After she gave up being scared, Big Mouth's endless wandering all over the house had a purpose and we just weren't smart enough to figure it out until now. She was remapping the entire house in her head, not pacing because she was ill or dying or becoming senile. It had a purpose! Very smart kitty. Granted, it was tiring on her part and very frustrating, but she instinctively knew that she had to do it.

She's learned to lead with her nose and stretch her neck a tiny bit, giving her a small extension in reach so that she can stop before crashing into something. I imagine her nose is quite sore from the past few days.

We also learned.....

• We must be decisive about doors. Either have the doors completely open or completely closed. No inbetween. She'll get herself caught behind the doors otherwise and just sit staring at the door jam until you get her out. Her whiskers brush wall-like structures either way she turns whichever way she turns so she's confused and doesn't know how to get out. She panics and so just just sits down.
• Don't move around furniture without 'showing' her the changes and letting her explore it. Statistically speaking, that is going to be the very next thing she runs into face first.
• Don't leave toys(kids or cats) out on the floor, at least until she gets her bearings. 
• Overhanging/drooping things are a menace-- don't let cords droop down from one thing to another and loop down to the floor, she'll trip across it or rope her neck into it. Hanging things can be mistaken for large solid objects and this can cause a lot of confusion in how to maneuver around them.
• The most important thing I think we've all learned is the value of independence on her part. Don't do anything really obvious for her! Guide her through something and let her feel it out every step but don't actually do it for her. The best example I can give of this is when she got the nerve to finally jump up onto the couch yesterday(YAY!!!) and then tried to get back down after a few minutes. She hovered on the edge and squirmed out of fear; she couldn't figure out how far down it was from sighted-memory. So I wrapped my hands around her chest and guided her front paws down to the floor and left her hind paws up on the couch so she could deduce for herself about how far down it was from her own body mass. Worked like a charm. Now she's up on the couch all the time of her own volition.
• Don't just scoop her up, cuddle her or walk around with her, and then plop her back down again somewhere else. A blind animal needs guide posts to figure out where they wind up. Place the animal beside something they know very well and if there is a sound in the room they can use to figure out where they are then that's even better.
• Don't call her by her name and expect her to come to you. Rub the carpet or pat the floor so she knows that you want her to go toward the sound, especially if you're trying to lead her out of a difficult situation she's gotten herself into. I've found myself having to do this a few times the past three days and as she's learning so am I, just what works and what doesn't. She's let us know that tapping on the wall doesn't do it for her. I guess the sound travels down the wall too far or it echoes and it confuses her. So now we stick to the method of rubbing or lightly tapping on the floor surface she's on.
• Use a glass waterbowl so you can tap the side of it to let her know where it is. Otherwise she'll faceplant into the water and then you're left with an extremely embarrased cat with a dripping face who is so peeved she'll walk off rather than deal with the situation(her thirst).
• Use a mat under the water and food bowl for spills. The one we have is wonderful in that is it literally like a dining room table placemat- big enough to fit everything on it with a bit of room so spare. We learned that she appreciate the way the mat has a softly downward curving ridge around the outer edge. When her paw bumps into it then she knows that she's arrived where she wants to be because the material and curved ridge is unique in the house and then uses her nose to hunt around for what she wants.  
• Don't shave the fur off a blind animal before they can accept their new reality. Fur is a sensory tool. Our little girl was already shaved three weeks before this downward spiral with her eye sight began but we realized that we have to let her fur grow out some more, no matter how hot she is, before shaving her again. Maybe in two or three weeks she can be shaved again. Fur isn't just a sensory tool for them to figure out where they are, it's also a tool to sense who is around them. It terrified her to have someone just randomly pet her without her realizing they were there. Touching fur first is better than touching peachfuzz and sensitive skin.

Big Mouth is still taking her sweet time opening that loud mouth of hers again and wailing to the world that she Wants Her Daddy NOW or Can You Pay Attention To ME Please, I Am The Princess?! but we have high hopes that one day really soon she'll be living up to her name once again. It may be as soon as next week for all we know. With what I've seen from her the past few days absolutely nothing would surprise me any longer.

I look at her now and her forever fully expanded pupils and it tears at my heart. I have cried so much the past week. It kills me inside. I can't stand to think that I'll never see her looking directly into my eyes again with that imperious glare that is distinctly Siamese. She'll never wink at me again. She'll never say "I love you" with her eyes again. She looks in my general direction but never directly at me. This knowledge hurts. I have to remind myself continually that she is interested in me although she cannot see me. It's ego on my part and quite a bit of selfishness. We're both being forced to adapt and reevaluate things.

She'll probably always walk into certain walls in the house. And then again some of these occurrences are not accidents and never will be. Like blind humans, she uses particular things as guide posts. She'll graze a corner here and curve around something there and then she knows where she is. She gets turned around quite easily still. It's like standing in the woods and no matter where you look all the trees look identical. How do you go about finding your way when you can't even see the sun overhead?

But still like the old Big Mouth, she does show her love and interest in other ways. She still curls up on my lap while watching TV. We watch now and she listens. She may not be able to see the blood and gore she loved so much but she can still hear the screams. She still drools on my clothes while sleeping on me and she still licks my husband's knee raw with her raspy tongue while sitting on him. She treats him like a salt lick. We've never been sure why. 

She still find comfort in the same few blankies, one of which is The Pink Fluffy(AKA my old housecoat which she cuddled with so much it is now nearly an unwashable brown instead of pink). This was one of the first items she recognized positively after losing her sight and it helps her to relax at night with us.

She's becoming a little more sure of herself, and although I cringe when I see her walk into things over and over again, now I jump a foot into the air at times because she's learned to use her stealthy cat senses to scare the living shit out of us. She used to make some sort of noise when walking across a room. Not anymore. Big Mouth carefully places each foot on the floor to judge where she is in the house(carpet, linoleum, tile, or cement) and to keep her balance. In return for this new careful grace she now has the creeping ability of the quietest panther. You turn around and there she is right where you next wanted to place your foot. And so we are now perpetually in Watch Out For The Blind Cat alert mode. She is too stealthy. 

I'll be glad when she starts being more vocal again, then we can always figure out where she is. She never used to shut up. Now the quiet makes us look around for her frantically, in fear that she's gotten herself backed up behind the trashcan yet again or even behind the refrigerator. She used to get lost in our closet even when she had eyesight and now?...egads. We had to start keep our closet door closed now. There is nothing more pitiful than searching the house for your cat only to find her inside your closet and sitting, staring at the back of the closet door. Of course she's not really staring at anything but it is disturbing to watch her just sit there because she feels like she's stuck.

This girl has bumped her face into things more times than I can count the past week but early today when I saw her walk directly out of the room she was in, turn right then left and then right again straight down the hallway without a hitch I nearly had a heart attack. What was she doing, counting her steps? How did she do it? What was she using as a guide? Not the wall. She was walking down the very middle of the hallway. 

It's surreal watching her learn to exist without this sense she lost only a few days ago. The desire to persevere, the persistence, the adaptability of a creature who truly wants to continue to live is a tremendous validation of the strength of her character. She's an old lady who no doubt feels a few aches and pains some days. But otherwise she's healthy as a horse  and she refused to lie down and mope about it longer than she had to. We can learn a lot about intestinal fortitude from such fine examples.

My big male cat, Killer Kitty, doesn't understand yet that she's blind. She walks directly into his side at least a half a dozen times a day and at least a few times he swats at her. It doesn't take much to annoy him, though. He's my little Grumpy Man. But he'll learn through watching her and she'll learn by getting swatted at that when her whiskers graze against another cat's fur she needs to veer off instead of continuing to walk forward until her head butts against him. Live and learn. Adapt. Grow through experience which leads to knowledge. Gnosis.

"Ai Weiwei- Never Sorry"

I encourage everyone to learn about and follow the works of an amazing artist-activist in China. Ai Weiwei. On YouTube you can find a snippets of the documentary about him called, "Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry." To watch the whole thing you'll have to go to Netflix or some other movie house. It's a perfect example of the kind of action which is desperately needed here in the States!!! Here's a condensed bit of info plus shots from the movie. 

Ai Weiwei's parents were protesters, themselves. His father was a poet who earned himself and his wife more than a few years in a labor camp. Ai spent a few years there, as well. He became an artist which did not graduate from the 'acceptable' academy in China and so his art is known as outsider art. It's all inflammatory, all real, and always relevant. The Chinese government passionately hates him and his international stardom. Trying to rein him in only makes his retaliatory acts more daring.

In 2008 he designed "The Birdsnest" stadium structure for the Olympics. It all went downhill from there because he was finally woken up to what kind of protest was necessary to promote change in China. It's been a battle staying alive since then. 

This  picture below shows the installation art ("Remembering") he created entirely from 9,000 children's backpacks in the wake of the devastating 2008 earthquuake which killed so many thousands. The pictures Ai saw after the incident of backpacks strewn everywhere around these schools haunted him.

"She lived happily for seven years in this world," which was a quote from the parent of one of the victim's mother. This is what the Chinese characters spell out in the installation art. 

Ai and his company were protesting the fact that the Chinese government didn't have an accurate tally of dead and injured. They didn't seem to care at all. The majority of the children killed were in very shoddy government built schools when they collapsed on them. Any time people tried to do compilations of names in these towns the government officials harassed them; obviously something stinky was afoot.

As another form of protest he and his company compiled a list of every child they could find out about. By April of 2009 they had compiled a list totaling 5,385 verifiable names. After he posted their names online the government ripped his blog down. So he had other people post the names to get the word out!! 

Ai is an avid Twitter fanatic. His blog got ripped down a few times by the government so he gave up.  I went to the site and sure enough, it's just a blanket page with a link about the government suing him and a few links. But on Twitter he is a chatterbox.

Here he is eating outside a cafe with a dozen anonymous friends who sat down to eat with him. That act alone was defiance on their part. The police showed up and tried to harass him to leave. He didn't. Everyone finished their meals. The police could only watch and glare at them.

The Chinese government finally got tired of his antics and....

Ai was detained at Beijing airport by police when he was trying to board a plane to Hong Kong. Protests and rallies have helped spread the word of what Chinese officials have done.

They held Ai Weiwei for eighty-one days in an undisclosed location and interrogated him about his 'unlawful activities' within his art. They were interested in his publicity interviews and online activities. They detained him under the guise of investigating his company's finances. He was released after admitting to 'tax evasion(which he later lost in court but is refusing to pay out) and put on probation which prohibited him from speaking to reporters, blogging or tweeting, or leaving the city of Beijing.

The sign above is one which was at a protest rally in China at a police station. Sorry about the movie control area graying out a portion of it. It says, "China Set Them Free!" That is a list of the number of writers, lawyers, artists, teachers, and other intellectuals who were all systematically rounded up around the same time as Ai. 


The artist reappeared over two months later, shaken, and wouldn't talk to anyone for quite some time. He said that he was out on bail and couldn't access his Twitter account or talk about anything that happened. It didn't stop him for long, though. Within weeks he was back at it.

In 2011 the government demolished his art studio which had just been completed. Ai invited people to an outdoor barbecue to celebrate but he couldn't attend the party himself because he was placed on house arrest. Celebrate what, you ask? Friendship!!! Camaraderie! Harmony! The joy of being alive. Later that day the building they celebrated in was demolished by government workers. The party was the only act of defiance they could really make. 

One of his most notable recent works was a short film featuring Ai writing in Chinese characters on a white background and then several people coming to stand before they camera and saying, "Fuck you, motherland," in their native tongue and then walking away from the camera's view. Ai was last. The international art community, along with Human Rights Watch, collectively felt their jaws hit the floor. This was one of his most provocative works. No one could be sure what would happen to him now.

In April of 2012, Ai set up several cameras to monitor him at his house and linked the feed online. His reason was that the Chinese government already had a dozen cameras on him already, 24/7, so what's four more? Forty-six hours after his cameras went live the government demanded he removed them. They received over five million views before being disconnected.  

I'd like everyone reading this to pause for a moment to consider the implications here. The government can watch your every move and it's ok. But if you hook up a live feed to the internet and allow the rest of the world to watch you-- it's NOT ok?  

I know at this point it's not just an act of defiance on his part, it's for his own personal safety.  Still, it is an artist's statement which deserves to be analyzed on a global scale. What would happen if you tried to do the same thing??

And so now we watch and wait to see what happens to this brave man. 

Here is a link to his Twitter account. It's in Chinese.  Does anyone know how I can translate that whole page to English??  

The Nearness of God

∞

Why would the nearness of something so divinely beautiful make you feel unease?

Some fundamentalists/literalists claim to get queasy from his presence. Some feel a bit of fear. Some say "No! It's not fear its... awe." I ask you to further probe that 'awe' and take a big step toward truth. This 'awe' is simply fear in disguise of your shaking knees and loud Hallelujah's. Once you quiet your own voice and turn to really, truly listen, then you hear it. Him. Really listening means that you're not hearing yourself talk. It's a difficult concept, even for those who've studied meditation for years.

Is all the talk getting in the way? 

Is this perhaps a fear of going higher than what you can perceive of as being available currently? 

Is it the fear of lacking structure and getting lost? Why would you think he would let you flounder?

What would it take for you to release your inhibitions; not like a drunkard grabbing yet another bottle and increasing his or her lacking control, but of an adult making the decision to grow and expand beyond what they currently know? 

Electric Universe and other Nerdy Goodness

This title is said with much love. My house is the only house I know of that thinks reading about quantum physics is fun on Sunday morning after a bowl of cereal-- and that's including both kids. Hearing the screaming fights over chess matches which end with spurting bloody noses.. ye gods. My kids are not geniuses but they have been raised to think outside the box.

I tripped over an awesome site and wanted to let you know that it's now been added to Gnostic Unrest in the Alternative News Sources list. Thunderbolts.info!! SPECTACTULAR site jam packed with stuff for everyone to drool over who is of a mathematical/science mindset. Great pics, too! Check 'em out.

The Smallest Particle of God?

The earliest 'God particle' to be conceived of is in this equation: 

 

This is the residual energy thought to be contained within a single energy radiator or a 'vibrating atomic unit.' 

Albert Einstein and Otto Stern wrote about Zero-Point Energy in 1913.

Repentance and Guilt

Guilt = self flagellation  

I've been reading the Songs of Solomon and contemplating the nature of dogmatic driven guilt which is hammered into the mind of every person within ear's reach of a fundamentalist church. 

Also, my own thirteen year old son inspired this post when he said Friday afternoon, "I wish I could just punch myself until I quit doing what I'm doing wrong!" He got a B on an Algebra quiz for criminey's sake. I asked what he thought beating himself up was going to accomplish and he said, "I'd wake up." That was an interesting response, and not one I was expecting. I told him that I'm not going to feed him coffee intravenously and maybe he just needed more sleep and/or to study a bit more. That didn't pacify him and he went off on a rant. Later, we read the following scripture together and talked about it.


Part of Song 11

"I threw off vanity and turned to my god,
and his bounty made me rich.
I threw off the madness of the earth;
I stripped that madness from me
and cast it away.

And the lord renewed me
in his raiment
and held me in his light.
From above he gave me uncorrupted ease,
and I was like land deep and happy in its orchards, 
and the lord was sun on the face of the land."

___________________________________________________

My conclusion is this: Not for god's sake- but for YOUR sake... stop beating yourself up!

He knows you're going to falter in your resolutions to change(and you're not always going to remember precisely how to solve a quadratic equation by factoring every time you're asked to) and He knows the past deeds you regret and are still trying to come to terms with. He knows you're human. He knows. He knows. He knows. He knows ALL. So cast off the guilt and plant his happiness in your heart and soul. That's right where he belongs.

You can move forward, accepting your stumbles along the way. The Good God doesn't want you to feel heavy hearted if you've learned a lesson thoroughly. Shed your guilt. He's not going to beat you up like a boxer on the other side of a ring. He is not an opponent! He is our closest friend, our lover, our dearest everything. He's the pure gold fondant cake topper on the thickest fudge cake in the world, a la mode with Godiva icecream. He's fine caviar, baby. He knows he's the best of everything and makes no issue of hugging the bejesus out of you any time he feels like you might need it and sometimes just because he's thinking of you. He asks for very little in return.

The chains of dogmatic based guilt are heavy and only need to be worn as long as you need to. But growing past that stage is essential. That is what he asks of us.

Have you ever held a colicky baby? Or how about had a friend or loved one who constantly beat themselves up and had nothing else to say but, "You'll never believe how I screwed up now. You gotta help me dig myself out of this hole!" There's only ever going to be a steady stream of crying and unhappiness coming from those types of people, little or big. Victims. Victims of themselves, but victims nonetheless. Victims of their short sightedness and victims of the world itself.

Growing in gnosis means growing up, period. Holding the perpetually crying infant isn't fun. Don't get me wrong, he's not going to drop your or shake you because he's annoyed--(I don't think he gets annoyed)-- but try to see things from his perspective sometime. Like a parent with a whiny kid.

No human being is ever going to be 'good enough' to see god until they shed that guilt of simply being what we are-- human.