The Nearness of God

∞

Why would the nearness of something so divinely beautiful make you feel unease?

Some fundamentalists/literalists claim to get queasy from his presence. Some feel a bit of fear. Some say "No! It's not fear its... awe." I ask you to further probe that 'awe' and take a big step toward truth. This 'awe' is simply fear in disguise of your shaking knees and loud Hallelujah's. Once you quiet your own voice and turn to really, truly listen, then you hear it. Him. Really listening means that you're not hearing yourself talk. It's a difficult concept, even for those who've studied meditation for years.

Is all the talk getting in the way? 

Is this perhaps a fear of going higher than what you can perceive of as being available currently? 

Is it the fear of lacking structure and getting lost? Why would you think he would let you flounder?

What would it take for you to release your inhibitions; not like a drunkard grabbing yet another bottle and increasing his or her lacking control, but of an adult making the decision to grow and expand beyond what they currently know? 

Electric Universe and other Nerdy Goodness

This title is said with much love. My house is the only house I know of that thinks reading about quantum physics is fun on Sunday morning after a bowl of cereal-- and that's including both kids. Hearing the screaming fights over chess matches which end with spurting bloody noses.. ye gods. My kids are not geniuses but they have been raised to think outside the box.

I tripped over an awesome site and wanted to let you know that it's now been added to Gnostic Unrest in the Alternative News Sources list. Thunderbolts.info!! SPECTACTULAR site jam packed with stuff for everyone to drool over who is of a mathematical/science mindset. Great pics, too! Check 'em out.

The Smallest Particle of God?

The earliest 'God particle' to be conceived of is in this equation: 

 

This is the residual energy thought to be contained within a single energy radiator or a 'vibrating atomic unit.' 

Albert Einstein and Otto Stern wrote about Zero-Point Energy in 1913.

Repentance and Guilt

Guilt = self flagellation  

I've been reading the Songs of Solomon and contemplating the nature of dogmatic driven guilt which is hammered into the mind of every person within ear's reach of a fundamentalist church. 

Also, my own thirteen year old son inspired this post when he said Friday afternoon, "I wish I could just punch myself until I quit doing what I'm doing wrong!" He got a B on an Algebra quiz for criminey's sake. I asked what he thought beating himself up was going to accomplish and he said, "I'd wake up." That was an interesting response, and not one I was expecting. I told him that I'm not going to feed him coffee intravenously and maybe he just needed more sleep and/or to study a bit more. That didn't pacify him and he went off on a rant. Later, we read the following scripture together and talked about it.


Part of Song 11

"I threw off vanity and turned to my god,
and his bounty made me rich.
I threw off the madness of the earth;
I stripped that madness from me
and cast it away.

And the lord renewed me
in his raiment
and held me in his light.
From above he gave me uncorrupted ease,
and I was like land deep and happy in its orchards, 
and the lord was sun on the face of the land."

___________________________________________________

My conclusion is this: Not for god's sake- but for YOUR sake... stop beating yourself up!

He knows you're going to falter in your resolutions to change(and you're not always going to remember precisely how to solve a quadratic equation by factoring every time you're asked to) and He knows the past deeds you regret and are still trying to come to terms with. He knows you're human. He knows. He knows. He knows. He knows ALL. So cast off the guilt and plant his happiness in your heart and soul. That's right where he belongs.

You can move forward, accepting your stumbles along the way. The Good God doesn't want you to feel heavy hearted if you've learned a lesson thoroughly. Shed your guilt. He's not going to beat you up like a boxer on the other side of a ring. He is not an opponent! He is our closest friend, our lover, our dearest everything. He's the pure gold fondant cake topper on the thickest fudge cake in the world, a la mode with Godiva icecream. He's fine caviar, baby. He knows he's the best of everything and makes no issue of hugging the bejesus out of you any time he feels like you might need it and sometimes just because he's thinking of you. He asks for very little in return.

The chains of dogmatic based guilt are heavy and only need to be worn as long as you need to. But growing past that stage is essential. That is what he asks of us.

Have you ever held a colicky baby? Or how about had a friend or loved one who constantly beat themselves up and had nothing else to say but, "You'll never believe how I screwed up now. You gotta help me dig myself out of this hole!" There's only ever going to be a steady stream of crying and unhappiness coming from those types of people, little or big. Victims. Victims of themselves, but victims nonetheless. Victims of their short sightedness and victims of the world itself.

Growing in gnosis means growing up, period. Holding the perpetually crying infant isn't fun. Don't get me wrong, he's not going to drop your or shake you because he's annoyed--(I don't think he gets annoyed)-- but try to see things from his perspective sometime. Like a parent with a whiny kid.

No human being is ever going to be 'good enough' to see god until they shed that guilt of simply being what we are-- human. 

$3.43 Best Pea Soup

At the risk of boring the hell out of my Readers, I have another recipe I wanted to share.  But hey, who wouldn't want to fix a dinner for four people on only $3.43?!!  Times are tough and they're only getting tougher. We've only got one income in our home and I've got two growing adolescent boys who threaten to eat us out of house and home every time the dinner bell rings. If we had a dinner bell, anyway. 

This pea soup recipe is one of my own. I just combined things we like and voila. It's very tasty. Your house will smell so good while it's cooking, too. Give it a try! And if you like it then you can very easily double it and freeze it. That's what I do all summer while the kids are away-- make stews and freeze them. It's very handy when there is a crazed day ahead of us or I just don't feel like cooking.

Best Pea Soup only takes about 45 minutes to make from start to finish. This recipe makes four servings if they're used as a main course. It also fills 1/2 a gallon freezer bag just to give you an idea of possibilities for the future.

Cost	Ingredients
$1.08	1 lb dried split peas
$.22	½ large spicy white onion, diced or chopped, your choice.
$.10	2 heaping tablespoons of minced garlic(jar garlic is cheapest, which is what I use)
$.99	4 oz. finenly chopped raw bacon, smoked. (Chop with kitchen shears. Super easy!)
$.05	One small dash of Kitchen Bouquet Browning Sauce(about 3 tbs.)
	6 cups of water.

We like steamed baby carrots on the side of this dish so that's an additional $.99 for a 1 lb bag. That's how the math adds up to $3.43. Aldi has these bags of baby carrots on sale right now for $.53 so YAY! I can make this particular meal this week for even less!

Here are the directions for the soup.

1. In a medium/large pot fry your onion, bacon, garlic, and browning sauce. Stir well and cook until onions are almost translucent. Bacon will not be crispy. 
2. Rinse your split peas and then add them to the pot plus the six cups of water. 
3. Simmer with tilted lid on medium heat until peas are very soft, almost 30-40 minutes. Six cups of water is the perfect amount. Stir well to bring up the water from the bottom of the pot to convince yourself of this if you need to. When it's done cooking and you've done enough stirring, the soup will look like a thick green gravy. Taste test it to make sure the peas are soft and fall apart. You don't want even slightly crunchy peas.

A sprinkle of course sea salt, to taste, is awesome in this soup. It really makes the flavors pop.

Possible additions: 

• Shredded cheeses on top. Smoked gouda is sublime with this soup.
• A dollop of sour cream.
• Nooch(nutritional yeast).

What else do you like on your pea soup?

Holy Ghost or Pleroma?

As I sat today re-reading an earlier post an idea occurred to me and I wanted to run it by you to see what you think. Here's what triggered it. I wrote: 

"When I was a Christian in the dogmatic sense, I never once felt the Holy Ghost. I did feel(what I now recognize) pleroma trying to bust down my mental doors, but there was nothing Ghostly about it, not in anyway the Holy Ghost has ever been described as a spirit or essence of god."

With the vibrancy and overwhelming love and sense of completion people report feeling when the "Holy Ghost comes upon them" do you think it's possible that the Holy Ghost for hylics/somatics, for your typical literalist Christian is really pleroma?!! 

Is it possible? Has he been trying to sneak in like this all along? Is this just one way literalists are waking up? 

Maybe the people who dogmatically read and study the Holy Ghost are only looking at the tip of the iceberg. Maybe, just maybe, those people who actually experience it are tapping into something those dogmatic intellects aren't seeing at all. And maybe it's not what they've been told it is at all. 

What do you think about this?

Turmeric Ginger Milk

Every once in a while you know I gotta talk about food. I just get the urge to share. My argument is this: There is too gnosis in food!! ... that sounds kinda bratty but ... there ya go. That's the only excuse I'm ever going to give. Food is medicine and good food is good medicine. You'll never hear me say that tofu is good food, though. Sorry. Been there, done that, and got really really weak and sick. Never again.

Well, here's a delicious way to get your dose of turmeric which is super healthy for the immune system and digestion overall. Very relaxing in the evening. I found the recipe on some site which I can't recall now. This stuff is sublime, otherwise you'd never see me yapping about it here. So take a leap and try something unusual in your kitchen with me today.

Some might say, "Ginger tea, ok.. yeah, alright. I go with you on this. But Ginger MILK? And TURMERIC? Angel, what the hell were you smoking?"

No drugs were involved in the making of this milk. I swear. lol. It is delicious and a fantastic way to enjoy the benefits of this spice, of which there are many.

It called for two cups of milk. I halved the milk to make it a single serving but kept the measurement for the spices and it tastes divine. I can't drink 16oz of milk, sorry. Tummy just can't do it. But I can drink 8oz.

Helpful hints for price and other issues are at the end of the post.  It's not expensive to make but I do have some hints to help you out to make it dirt cheap.

Here's how you make it and what you'll need:

• One small stainless steel pot
• One metal spoon for stirring
• 8oz milk(whatever fat content you desire)
• One pinch of ground(or freshly grated) ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon turmeric
• One pinch of fresh ground black peppercorns

Put your milk into your pot and turn on your stove to Medium. If you have a gas stove it'll be a tad bit lower.

Add all three spices.

 

Mix with your metal spoon(now do you see why you need a metal pot without Teflon coating?) while cooking and make sure you're scraping the bottom of the pot. Cook for about three minutes until you see little bubbles formed around the edge. Don't cook until it's boiling, it'll form a skin and you don't want that. Cook until it's steaming.

If you don't scrape the bottom well this is what your pot will look like when you're done. A lot of the spice will sink and will get stuck there. It's not hard to wash off, but that is spice that you're not getting in your drink.

Don't worry if you get this bright yellow milk on your stove or counter. Read the Tips below. Easy cleanup.

Now pour your turmeric ginger milk into your mug and sip to your heart's content!

If you choose to use freshly grated ginger you'll find that some of the slivers will float and some will sink. The ones that sink are really mellow tasting by the time you get to them.

I've even started sprinkling a bit of turmeric in my older cat's mushed up food. Poor thing only has a few teeth left and we have to mash her food up for her. She seems to eat more when I put the dash of turmeric in it. I leave out the pepper, though.

Here is the little princess herself. She just got shaved yesterday that's why you can see her pink skin in some areas. She feels like suede.

Helpful hints:

1.  Do not brush your teeth for at least thirty minutes after drinking this milk. Your toothbrush will turn neon yellow and you'll freak out. I learned this one personally. I don't have any problems with teeth staining from this drink but the turmeric does linger for a while so do yourself a favor and hold off with the toothpaste. Besides, turmeric is antibacterial! You're actually doing something good for your teeth by drinking this concoction.
2. Turmeric is a pretty potent dye. It'll wipe right up off of stoves and any other non porous surface very easily but if you happen to get it on a Formica counter top you'll need to put a dot(yes, just a dot) of bleach or a spray containing bleach on the stain. No scrubbing involved. It wipes right up after you let the bleach spray sit for about ten seconds. This is, yet again, something learned from first hand experience. I hyperventilated the first time I got turmeric laden liquid on the counter. I thought our rent deposit would be gone for sure. Nope. Nothing a little bit of bleach can't take care of.
3. Don't be surprised if you have mild 'hot flashes' by the time you get to the bottom of your cup. Ginger is a warming spice and the body does react accordingly. I tried chilling the concoction and it's horrible. But you may like it. Try it and see. I just don't think this is a very good cold drink.
4. I've found that dried and powdered ginger spice tastes just as good as raw ginger; just... different. Sometimes I like chewing on the tiny bits of ginger and other times I'm not in the mood. I keep a small chunk of ginger in my crisper for this reason. A good way to keep the root fresh as long as possible is to put it in a small ziplock bag, put in a paper towel with it, close the bag and then poke a few holes in it. Every time you use the ginger replace the paper towel with a fresh dry one. It absorbs moisture.
5. Turmeric is a pricey spice in some areas and from certain brands. Buy in bulk if possible. I can buy 14oz of turmeric from my local GFS for only $9.99!  McCormick is over $4 an oz by comparison so definitely shop around for the best deal.  
6. I also buy black peppercorns in bulk. To start off, though, you can get McCormick's pre-filled peppergrinder at Walmart for under $2. Not a bad deal at all. Until you figure that you can buy just under a POUND of peppercorns for under $8 at bulk spice areas, pop off the McCormick grinder lid and refill it. Niice! Now I use the different varieties in peppercorns on just about everything I make including meats.

I think a small dollop of pureed/canned pumpkin might be interesting to stir into this. I'll try it this Fall and if it's any good I'll let you know. 

Coconut milk might be good to use in place of cow's milk. I'm allergic to coconut so I can't try it but if you do then be sure to comment and let us know. Almond milk might be workable, however I read somewhere that almond milk that's heated too long can turn bitter. Anyone know anything about that?

Between the Folds

Origami! RNA sequencing. Tissue paper crumpling. Wet molding. Computer models and designs for airbags. Sacred geometry. Sound intriguing?

Between the Folds is a beautiful documentary I watched a few months ago and I wanted to make sure I posted something about it here since I mentioned origami and DNA folding in a recent previous post.

Look for it on YouTube, Hulu, Netflix(how I watched it) and any other place which might have documentaries of a scientific or artistic nature. 

This movie inspired me to look up origami online. I made my first paper crane that day. It had some wobbly wings and one crooked assed beak but ya know what? It was fun and it reminded me to have fun with simple things around me like paper.

Between the Folds follows several artists in their ever changing craft but also explores the real scientific boundaries which are being crossed by... origami scientists! They're in Harvard and Yale and Princeton. These folks aren't slouches and they're radically changing our understanding of physics. 

Watched this with my kids and they both loved it. Go find it!!

Why Sacrifice?

Why do literalist religions always require a sacrifice of some sort? Where does this come from? I don't have have so many answers here as much as some thinking points I've compiled. If you can add to it then please leave a comment and we'll keep this a work-in-progress. The whole thing has confused me since I was a child and if anyone has any wisdom to share on this issue I'd be grateful.

Before we get started just a bit of a note about where this whole blog post got started. Being in the middle(literally- wrist deep in fur) of shaving my Siamese cat(Little Big Mouth, 20 years old) to help her deal with the heat, pleroma blurted out something which made me pause.

"I am willing to sacrifice my past but not my future."

Shaving a cat naturally made me think of animal sacrifice, something I'm sure Big Mouth did not appreciate. But after I got done royally pissing her off(she likes be shaved, it's the bathing part afterwards she doesn't like) I sat down and wrote this list. These are all the ways literalist religions ask us to sacrifice in order to receive special knowledge or simple acknowledgement as a sane and humble human being so that you should not be sent down to roast in a fiery place when you die:

1. The practice of sacrificing one of your children to the church in service. Even the old royal families still did this up until the middle of last century. One child would go into the military and the other would be given to the church. My guess is that since the church always held such power that the royal family was essentially giving their 'tithe' in this manner while also having a set of eyes and ears inside the church which were related to them.
2. The Old Testament says that Yahweh wanted a sacrifice of a child(but sike! It was really just a test) to see if the father would do it.  Moab really did do it, though; although this time God said that he didn't have to do it. Why the change of heart?
3. Eating and drinking the Host and his blood. He 'sacrificed' his body for you to partake of it. "Do this in remembrance of me" takes on a decidedly cannibalistic theme when you put it in a certain light. This is hylic/psychic magic, coincidentally. The Church has no gnosis. They're big on ritual and low on content.
4. Martyr your body for 'the cause' meanwhile hopefully killing a lot of other people. Because you know, it's all about spreading the word. Nothing spreads like wildfire faster than news of 1) someone cheating on someone 2) an insane fundamentalist killing themselves and a lot of other people or damaging valuable property.  "My religion is better than yours so I am going to kill/hurt you!!!" This loony-toon declaration of love for a deity is just asinine. "Martyrdom was identified early in Church history as "baptism by blood", enabling martyrs who had not been baptized by water to be saved." Wikipedia search: baptism. So because you've been killed for the faith then your own blood acts as a baptismal font? (Why would you have to be baptized in the first place?) This is sickening on many levels, the most appalling one being of course that a person can do many atrocious things in their life and only with their last act be declared a martyr as long as they died "for the faith." I'm all for appreciating a good deed but the crown of 'martyr' is disgusting when taken in that context, especially when it supposedly gets you a lofty place up in Heaven beside the Big Guy with or without dozens of virgins. Being with him again should be it's own reward, not the chance to be known as a martyr.
5. Jesus, or rather God sacrificing his 'first born' son to... himself? Why would God need to go through the physical act of sacrifice? Gnostics generally all have varying belief in this act. We tend not to discuss it too much. But even if you do take the act seriously, why would one person's(divine or not) material body sacrifice placate God enough to then save every person who asked for it afterward? A million people crying for salvation before Christ lived isn't enough but one man's is? Personally, I think that's kinda conceited. The majority of gnostic texts exonerate Jesus' act by saying it wasn't 'what you think it is,' and that is a topic for another blog post.
6. Animal sacrifice. Why would God need a dead animal? And why oh why would he delight in sniffing the wafting aroma of it's burnt carcass? Peace offerings and guilt offerings... what is the point? Why can't you just say you're sorry instead of butchering some poor innocent animal or giving up grain which could be used to feed your belly. Is this what they call 'paying the piper'? Is God the piper to be paid? ... and doesn't that make him a spiritual extortionist? "Give me dead offerings or I'll roast you in Hell." Yep. That's extortion.

After completing my list of horrifying sacrifices deemed necessary for literalist religious acceptance I compiled a list for what I would be willing to sacrifice for my belief in the All/the totality of salvation/pleroma/the Good God, and many other names which I am sure you have heard me use.

1. I am willing to sacrifice untold hours in my day/night to study anything worthy he sends my way, no matter how mundane, silly, bizarre, or mentally/spiritually challenging.
2. I am willing to sacrifice the resentment, anger, sadness, embarrassment, and shame I felt in the past and move on, trusting him to guide me. 
3. I am willing to sacrifice my sleep so that he may tell me ridiculous jokes at 4am, hug me, and send me dreams showing me just how much I am loved or remind me of things I have forgotten, both good and bad.
4. I am willing to sacrifice financial security in the present and future to make sure I'm not partaking in any business ventures which are morally questionable. 
5. I am willing to sacrifice my personal safety in order to stand up and speak up for what is right when not doing so would be easier and safer.